Ranting

[gerluc55]

I'm sick of feeling like I'm second best.
I'm sick of feeling like I'm not enough.
Because I am enough. I'm clever, funny, I'm kind. I'm a good friend and im a good mum. im ok looking and thin ish.
I'm working for the nhs in a bloody pandemic with pathetic ppe frontline. I'm doing my best.
And I'm still letting an idiot make me feel like shit, because he won't commit. And still why can't I let him go.
I don't need therapy I know my weak points I know why as well.
I just can't seem to let him go because to me we are perfect.

Not sure what anyone can say other than have sympathy?

Your last sentence contradicts everything else you wrote. Sorry

Totally does 🤣

We're perfect

Yet he makes you feel second best and like you're not enough? At this point, you need to take responsibility for your own unhappiness because you are choosing to stay in a dead end relationship. Stop wasting your time.

What’s perfect about being made to feel like shit or choosing to put up with it?

Bad example to your children too.

It does- you know it's far from perfect. Keep reminding yourself that- write down all the nasty things somewhere and look at them when you forget/feel swayed.

Oh and just block that person if you don't live with them- or if you live with them, plan how you're going to get rid of them from your life. If you're unlucky enough to have kids with them then just keep contact to practical details about the kids.

I don't need therapy I know my weak points I know why as well

People can know why they do/accept self destructive stuff and that's why they go to therapy. Therapy is to help you stop doing them or get out of sticky situations.

How does therapy help you doing the same things when you know why you're doing them
and understand how it affects you and your life.
That's what I don't understand.
I'm so stuck on him.
I know I need to block but I always feel like we are progressing but then we aren't.

Ffs. You aren't because he's not bothered about you.

"I'm miserable! But I'm so so happy!"

He is bothered about me. I know tht. Just not enough I guess.
Harsh comments but true. I am happy when he gives me time but sometimes so sad when he doesn't.
I need to get a grip and move forward.
I just feel stuck because I always think we are getting somewhere and moving forward so I don't know whether to hold out for something
I feel is everything. Or cot ties and lose everything
But it's been 15 months now on and off now...and we are still just "seeing eachother"
Problems with his ex and mother of his child who threatened to move away. However I think if she clicked her fingers he would jump.

Why are you just seeing each other if it's been 15 months? Have you met his family and friends?

Could have written your post myself OP except I don't woke for the NHS and I can't fault my partner, but I do know you know you're wasting your time with something thats important to you it's time to assess things for your own good.

Move on OP. He sounds like a cunt.

He’s just not that into you. And life is too damn short to put up with anyone who doesn’t cherish you and WANT to be with you. You love the idea of you two and are denying the reality as it is painful to accept someone does not value you as you deserve to be valued.