Relationship and body issues

[inacheeseandpicklesandwhich]

Hi everyone I hope your all coping and keeping safe ❤️ . I have a huge problem with my breast . I always have really after having my daughter 15 years ago. I breast fed and they give in to gravity . They are so bad that I don't like looking at them at all . It's affected my sex life dramatically . Obviously my partner wants to see them but I get severe anxiety at the thought. There's been a few occasions where he has took my top off started feeling them and I have literally burst out crying . I'm so upset my how ugly they are and I know he should be able to look at nice boobs . Does anyone know if you can have an uplift on the nhs if it's affecting your life ? They are literally on my mind 24/7 . I can't even watch programmes with too less women in because it makes me really sad to see nice boobs . I know how stupid they sounds too . Thankyou all for reading z

Obviously your partner doesn't mind them too much. If you got the surgery, it would be for your benefit. Are they really that bad they need surgery? This is up to you determine. Perhaps you would benefit more from some kind of therapy?

He comments on them sometimes . Messing about but always about how saggy they are . Then when I get upset he apologises. Also he was watching porn last year and said it was because I don't let him look at my boobs he wanted to see some . I just want to look down and like what I see not be constantly turned sick at my own body x

So he knows you're insecure about your boobs and makes nasty comments about them? I'd ditch the big tit and then decide whether you need new tits.

I know it's a body confidence thing and that's understandable. Others might be self-conscious about their thighs, tummy or cellulite... It's a shame, because we all know confidence is sexy. than Have you ever noticed in films that actresses wear lovely soft lacy bralets in sex scenes? If it's good enough for Hollywood, it's good enough for your partner.
Look into surgery if you want to, but you could just wear pretty bralets and focus on your best bits. I find self-help books can help override negative thought patterns.

Ah! Just read your update. Ditch him!

At best he doesn't realize how sensitive you are about this issue, at worst he's an emotionally abusive AH. Its hard to know without more information. Anyhow, it does sound like you are very unhappy about them regardless of what he says, so could investigate surgery. When things settle down in a few months of course. This is fairly routine surgery, but still has risks, so you should make sure you know what you are getting into.

OP, my reaction to your initial post would have been totally different before your follow up.

I had a friend in a similar situation who came to me, partly l think because l usually go topless at the beach, and she knew that although not perfect (l’m in my 40s), l did not have “body issues”. My advice (which worked) was whenever you were at home and it was warm enough, wear your jeans/skirt but keep your top off until you felt comfortable with yourself.

But your second post tells us so much more, your problem is him wrecking your self esteem. He must be told to stop.

There have been cases where women have had surgery from the NHS to deal with cosmetic issues that cause damage to their mental health.

However, this is rare. The NHS is massively underfunded and the first port of call would be to offer you some form of therapy.

You can use a finance set up on order to get yourself the desired outcome. I know someone who took out a home improvement loan to fund hers 😂

Also follow #saggyboobsmatter on Instagram.

I mean you can also pay for them yourself.

It is an elective cosmetic surgery.

Where in the name of god does it say that your partner should be able to look at a pair of 'nice' boobs? You have severe issues with your body image and a breast uplift will not be the answer. If you did manage to get one done (and it probably would not be on the NHS), it might make you less self-conscious for all of 5 minutes before you developed some irrational concerns about another body part that you think is less than perfect.

I would suggest that you approach your GP with a view to counselling, but do bear in mind that it will take a very long time. The cure for how you feel about your breasts has to come from within you. Experts may be able to tease it out of you, but they cannot give you the cure.

As has been said, confidence is sexy. Your partner is not turned off by your breasts, so why not let him see them, fondle you, and stimulate them? Be bold, be brave, be sexy.

Best wishes.