When did you introduce your kids to your boyfriend?

[Louise000000]

Hypothetically for now as it wont be a near future plan for us, but just curious as to when you felt the time was right to introduce your bf to your kids. Mine are 4, 6 & 8
Their dad has moved out only this year. They are all handling the change very well so far.
Also when the time comes, did you go along the new 'friend' path at first or did you go in with 'this is mummy's boyfriend' ?
Just curious for now if anyone wanted to share their experience!

I'm not in this situation as I'm not currently dating yet, however I would aim for minimum 6 months. Though this is MN so be prepared to be told never!

I was thinking around the year mark of ex moving out and by that time I would have a fair idea if bf is a keeper and also kids settled with new routine of moving between the 2 homes.
We have still to meet each others parents and friends yet (here's hoping this summer)

That sounds like a good plan to me, And yes as they are little I would go with the friends thing first.

I guess only you will know when the time is right..i usually hear people say anything from 6 months to a year is the norm, which I agree with

@Louise000000 I haven't been in this situation but my ex waited a year to introduce his partner. I'd only ever let them meet someone I thought was serious so I'd say over a year too. I appreciate it's long as I'm always reading threads where so much shorter.

I was married less than a year after meeting my now H. Kids met him the week we started dating, but we’d been talking for around 3 months by then-just hadn’t seen each other. Kids were both under 10 at the time... we’ve now been married 12 years so it worked well for us!
Before that I’d been adamant I’d only date and never be serious about anyone and introduce him to the children unless we’d been dating like a year or something. But it was all different when I met my husband. I honestly just knew.

@eesha that's also a factor that I'd have to tell my ex about him first too as just now he doesn't know that I'm seeing someone, so for his point of view I'm in no rush either. Hope he's met someone by then and its all fine!!

@Isadora2007 I agree with you there, my mum met and married my step day within 6 months and I was 9.
I think it's the time from their dad going that's bothering me more than how long me and my bf have been together ifkwim

Step dad!!

Met dp when DS was 3 ish. Introduced when DS was 4.5. I think it was 16 months from meeting, we'd been casual for 10 months ish of that.

Introduced by name. Not given any title of friend or bf. Spent maybe an hour or two a week with DS for the first year. Then some sleepovers. Then some weekends. Moved in together after another year.

Slow and steady best i think

My new man works away (normally) so slow and steady is what I'm aiming for, totally against my character which is go for it if it feels right, yolo etc!
Feel like i did the go for it approach with my stbxh though and it's not worked out so taking my time with this one!

It was six months for us, there was no other parent to consider so my son hadn’t had to get used to a new routine etc like your little ones. He also essentially goes everywhere with me, so he’s very used to meeting new people.

My son is four, I didn’t say he was a friend I went straight in with “daddys boyfriend Dave” (not his name) I had also shown him a photo before they met. I think I had been mentioning him for about two months before they met. He came with us to a petting zoo for the first meet so my son was busy/distracted and so my boyfriend could just tag along for an hour or so before leaving and didn’t have the pressure to directly interact with him. Then it was park visits etc. Six months on, going very well.

I introduced my boyfriend to my DD at just over four months but for the next three or so months he was just a "friend" -- he didn't stay over and they only met one another about three times during that period.

He started staying the night at about seven months and I explained he was my boyfriend. It was faster than I would have liked to be honest but I have no childcare other than paid babysitters so would have been very difficult to keep it under wraps for much longer.

He was (until lockdown) still only staying over for a maximum of two nights a week and never two concurrently. I was thinking of increasingly things slowly from about now and here we all are. As things stand I'm not sure when I'll even see him again.

18 months. Introduced as a friend, he comes over a couple of times a week to hang out, have tea. We did have plans to start some days out etc before corona. He doesn’t sleep over. We do want to live together but we’re in no rush at all and taking things at the kids pace.

5 months. My dc are 12 and 14. I was going to wait a little longer but they asked to meet him so we did. Went for a game of indoor crazy golf and food so it was quite relaxed.

You'll know when it feels right - you need to be sure it's a long term relationship at that age. That said how long that takes will vary - by my second date I knew dp was for me, he reckons he knew before we met in person. (All our kids are adults so we introduced after a month)

Unfortunately within a month as DH sneaked round when DS was in bed and DS decided to get up and vomit all over him. Luckily 11 years later we are still together and DS is a big strapping teenager who loves his step-dad.

Thanks everyone, yes I guess I'll know when that time comes, after all this lockdown is over we are going to meet each others families and friends so then I'll get a good idea of if this is a long term relationship!