Can Tinder/OLD really strengthen your boundaries ?

[chunkyknits]

Just joined tinder. First time ever OLD.First time talking to Men as a single/ separated woman after 18 years.
This is what I have found after a week.
It has tested and strengthened my boundaries. It has really shown me that despite being devastated by my ex husbands affair and subsequent exit from our family, I feel stronger than I thought I was. From being ghosted early on, to stopping conversations when I felt that lines were blurred, to laughing
In the face of being asked for nudes after ten messages , I really see it as a good thing and a positive influence in preparing
Me for the RL dating world again.
Am I still in denial here or did anybody else feel that despite knock backs on OLD. That there was something to be learned from
Every encounter?

@chunkyknits it helped me feel more confident after an abusive relationship. I got lots of attention and interest. Each date was someone new to find out about, none really progressed past the first date really but were all good memories. I think it made me feel crap at times when I overinvested at times but it's all swings and roundabouts really.

It's YOU that has strengthened your boundaries. Well done!

Thanks! I'm not sure if it's
Maturity or a thick skin but I don't take anything personally whatsoever , which a year ago would have been unusual for me.
In two weeks
I've been
Ghosted, dropped, sent nudes straight away, asked for the same
Also straight away and I have felt
Nothing only ... dodged a bullet there'. Nice one!
Not so long ago,I would have been questioning myself and what was wrong
With me.. I'm
Delighted fated with my find!

I think most dodgy guys make it apparent very quickly on OLD, which makes it easier to drop them. I’d also say that any time I’ve noticed (and ignored) an amber flag on OLD, the man’s behaviour has always got worse, not better. It’s the ones who play a longer, cleverer game (e.g. pretending they want a relationship to get sex) that you have to watch out for. Having said that, strengthening your boundaries is undoubtedly a good thing 😊

As long as you remember that many of the men on OLD are just interested in getting into your pants then you will be ok. I know of men who swipe right on everyone.

I couldn't agree more! To be wise to it is empowering. Today for example, I spoke with a man(40) who is self isolating on his own. We got on somwell. Great chat and laughs .I believed therefore that he had no kids but also had a gut feeling that if he knew I did, he would be gone as quick , and
True to my thoughts, the moment I told him I had children, he disappeared into thin air !
A year or more ago, I would have felt insulted and somewhat pissed off. Today I thought.. well fuck you for being so rude , I don't want a step dad for
My Kids but I certainly don't want a man like you in their lives .They deserve more and so do I. I see that as a win for
Me. My
Mindset has completely shifted, thanks in no small part to mumsnet .😊