He’s overprotective with phone ...AGAIN!

[apple777]

Really need some advice...

I know I’ve been so stupid and feeling very fragile so please no nasty replies.
I found out dp was talking to another women and his ex from looking through his phone just before I found out I was pregnant. I looked the first time because I noticed he was very protective with his phone and my suspicion was confirmed. I packed his stuff and kicked him out then a couple of weeks later I found out that I was pregnant. I was gutted and didn’t know what to do but decided to go ahead with the pregnancy. He begged and cried for another chance made promises and I didn’t want to go through this alone so I stupidly gave him another chance. I’m 6 months pregnant and I’ve noticed he’s being overprotective with his phone AGAIN! It’s by his side all the time, he’s took it out of my bag the other day to walk into the shop whilst I was waiting outside in my car, he put it in his pocket to have a nap on the sofa and I notice he is jumpy if I walk into the room and he is on his phone. He won’t leave it in the same room as me so I know he’s up to no good again.

Here is my dilemma... I’m having a really hard pregnancy and have HG vomiting many times daily, hospital admissions, unable to keep most food down or even cook for myself as all smells makes me sick. Financially I need him right now (but won’t forever) as I’ve had to close my business for now because of the virus and also being unable to function with HG and with the lockdown he wouldn’t be able to go anywhere if I was to find something. I know the relationship is basically over because of the lack of trust and I’m so upset I’m bringing a baby into this and will now have to co parent with him for the next 18 years but I’ll get through it. I can’t go through this pregnancy on my own and will not put myself in financial, emotional and physical hardship because of his actions but I know for a fact he is hiding something from me right now! It’s driving me mad and I just want to call him out on it / or find out for myself! What do I do?

TIA

I didn’t want to leave your post unanswered.

If you can’t leave now, start making plans to leave as soon as you can. You don’t need proof, you already know in your heart what he’s doing.

You are so much better off without him, and you and your baby will be just fine I promise

If you can bear to, I would plod along until after the baby arrives. Use this time to make plans to leave and get things sorted for when you can leave. Remain friendly so as not to arouse suspicion but try to detach emotionally. He's clearly up to no good but would only deny it so I wouldn't bother confronting him. You will be so much better off without him although it may not feel like it just yet 💐

Since you are sure you want to seperate , don’t waste your time and energy playing detective.

Use it to make plans for the future. Can you start your business again or will you have to look for work? What are your childcare plans ? Is your home in your name alone or both ? Will your family help you? Etc

I went through something similar. He never changed and if anything, having a baby made him reach out to women more, until he started an emotional affair with his friend in our family home, in front of me and our baby. If he's doing it again, he'll never be faithful. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

I'm so sorry, it's selfish at the best of times but even more so when you're carrying his baby!

The only thing I would say is it's so much harder to leave after the baby is here, but you sound strong so hopefully you'll be able to do whatever is best for you feel the time is right.

Where's his phone when he's sleeping? Do you know his password?

Is he/has he done more than talk? Because protecting your sexual health will be a priority. Don’t let him give you an std.