Advice please!

[Baby2305]

I bet your all sick of seeing my name 24/7 but me and my partner well. We haven't been getting on great these past 4 weeks. In fact we're arguing nearly everyday because I'm carrying us both financially.

Let me give you more insight: we've been together since last year and he currently lives with me and has done ever since! He doesn't pay any rent, utility bills, buy any food or drinks - he just fills his face. Lastly he doesn't have a stable income :(

Which makes me stressed because obviously we have a baby on the way... which I'm worried that I'll have to pay for everything by myself. But he swears down he'll be able to support me and that we'll get through this together.. blah blah blah.

But I'm really not feeling any compassion towards him or any sympathy. He borrows money of friends & family. Then will spend his last on cigarettes which with being an ex smoker I get it. But he's now brought to my attention tonight that he's in nearly £500 worth of debt for unpaid bills and basically says that I have money and I don't help.

Christmas last year I helped him by taking out a loan of £750 exact. £340 was his and the remainder was mine. Although he's seemed to of forgotten this in the short space of time between Christmas to the present.

Please ladies or gents, someone please lead me in some sort of direction.

We've had breaks but he uses 'lockdown' as an excuse and that I need him. When in reality I really don't! I'm independent enough.

Sorry to bore you all on with my witty story. But need some advice sharpish. He keeps giving ultimatums and I can't stick it much longer but I don't want to be a single parent either :(((

Get rid.

You cannot, absolutely cannot have a good life for you and your child with this cock lodger.

You can if you get rid of him. There’s no in between or good that could come from staying with him.

Kick him out

Sorry, but be is dead weight. If he stays he will drag you and your child down. I would give him an ultimatum - 3 months (tops) to find stable employment, pay off all his debts and contribute half the costs of the home every month from then on or he is out on his arse. Never lend him money again.

Oh dear god, get rid like pp have said. You surely can't find him attractive when he's such a greedy, lazy good for nothing leech? If you think it's bad now wait until the baby is here.

Get rid!

(And that's being generous). You're gonna be a single parent either way most likely as if he cant step up to the plate in other areas I doubt he'll be bothered with the kid either.

He's a cocklodger. Get rid right away

What do you need him for? He’s not giving you anything.

Look...you can choose to go through life with someone who drags you down or lifts you up. It really is your choice.

Cocklodger. What exactly do you need him for? He is sponging off you. Using you to pay for his life and telling you it you that needs him.

No. He needs you to fund him living.

Fuck. Him. Off.

He's a mooch and doesn't mind the fact. I'm not getting any sense of adult responsibility - you're to blame because you won't take out a second loan in 6 month towards the debts he has accrued. Wow,
I'm not sure he'll ever materialise into a great provider but you are going to need some financial and emotional support from him. Although I don't know how he can get a job in the current climate but

But he needs to have your back here too.
Is he good around the house?
Is he emotionally supportive?

Been there, done that, never saw most of the money that he owed me. Sorry that you're with a douche.

The thing is see if I leave him he'll just think that I wanted a kid and now I don't want him at all. He kicks off at me when I don't dance to his tune and I just don't react back. Like last night I was trying to go to bed and rather than leave the room. He stood there arguing mainly with himself because I wouldn't open up to him. But right now and as always I've never opened up to him!

Before we got together and when we was literally just mates I used to pour my heart out to him but now I don't tell him anything. So when I was saying things to him last night about him with the money situation his eyes started filling up and he was shouting back at me.

On my last pregnancy me and my ex the baby's father had split at 6 weeks and got back together at 11 but then at the 12 week scan they'd confirmed that the baby was there but had sadly grown it's wings.
So right now I feel that if I leave my current partner it'll all happen again.

Advice? Leave him and who cares what he thinks. He is useless, he is not providing for you, is using you and always will.
Think about yourself and your life being made a misery. Your pregnancy now is different from the previous one. It's a different time and place, different circumstances and will have a different outcome.
If you stay where you are though a unhappy situation will be made a lot, lot worse by your mental health being threatened by a bad tempered lazy, leeching parasitic man.

So I tried settling our differences and spoke about his behaviour and his finances and he's left me.

Literally just said 'we're done. It's over' and he got his stuff and went. He kept saying that he was going to sleep in his car because I've made him homeless although his father has always wanted him back home.

Feel at ease now. Although the panic of buying and affording everything on my wage is worrying.

Thankyou all so much for your help!
Sending love to you all x