Please help me leave my fiancé :(

[salsadipp]

I've been in my relationship for 4 years, engaged for 6 months now, due to move into our place in two weeks.

I've not been happy for a long time now, he is emotionally abusive as I've discovered over the past 6 months with the help of my counsellor. I'm not happy. I want to get out of this relationship. But I'm absolutely terrified to do it.

For some reason even though he's destroying me, I can't help but want to hold on to him because my heart has so much love for him. But as my counsellor has helped me see, it's because he is very manipulative and has created this way in my head that I need him in my life.

Every day for the past two weeks I reach a point where I'm ready to call him and end it. I wake up in the morning and say today is the day. But I can never do it. I break down, so scared to do it,every day. It's becoming exhausting in my brain, I just need to get a grip and do it.

Please offer some words to help me just do it! He's expecting me to call him at 11 as we always do before bed. I want to do it then but I know I'll back down :( please help me

Just seen this and really really hope you are ok xx

Hi all. Sorry I haven't answered earlier, thanks for the comforting messages. I did it, didn't happen how I planned it too but it's done and that's good. Absolutely heartbroken and can't stop crying & will take a lot of self control to stay away from him, but I know it has to be done. Thank u for all your help, hope everyone is keeping as well as they can during this time x

Well done. Very best wishes . Just try and get some sleep and take it a day at a time.

Well done. Are you heartbroken at the loss of actual him. Or the him you hoped he be? What you thought you might or could have together, e.g. The Dream. Not the reality?

Hopefully it's easier every day. Xxx

Well done. You have been strong. You will feel like your heart is breaking mine still does now. I could not even explain why because it does not make sense to be broken hearted over someone who treats you so badly and you don’t want to be with. It’s ok to be upset and it is normal

Oh hooray for you!

Yes, your heart is breaking, but do remind yourself it's not for him - it's for the person you thought he was when you first got together, and the future you thought you had.

But getting him out of your life, rather than stopping that happy future means that that future can still happen - you've literally created a vacancy for a good, kind man to join you when you're ready.

And embrace quarantine - you're so safe from having to see him right now, you have time - at least 3 weeks - to get used to shutting him down without having to see him.

Well done

Well done OP, poor you feeling so shit but I promise that there will be a day you wake up after going through a sort of grieving process where you think THANK FUCK.

I remember a day I woke up a month or so after leaving my abusive ex and literally waking up smiling and then laughing to myself. I went and got my favourite snacks from the fridge, back to my bed and ate them while watching all my favourite stuff on Netflix feeling comfy and smug and free.

Fuck me, it's worth it!

You've done the best thing for you. Wishing you all the best and if you have low moments just think over all the things that made you unhappy. Take the very best care of yourself going forward.

Thanks All