Should I intervene?

[coronacockdown]

Posting here for traffic (have also posted in alcohol support)

A family member's drinking problem has not surprisingly, due to lockdown, come to a head. Their immediate family is really struggling with it. They are in denial.

I don't get on that well with the problem drinker but feel the situation is intolerable.

What can I do, or should I just stick with supporting rest of their family?

Support the family .
Trying to tell a problem drinker not to drink - especially when you don’t get along - will not end well for their family members who have to live with them .

Not much you or the family can do. The drinker needs to seek help for themselves.

My step mother was a terrible drinker and I spent a lot of my childhood seeing her laid on the sofa drinking herself to death and at times I did actually think she had died as she was so pale and yellow.
I use to try do everything I could to help her steer clear of drink but it dawned on me years later she will only help herself if she truest wants to. Luckily she did and she’s a lot better now but that my take on it.

Thanks Fidgety

The immediate family isn't in denial. Just the drinker. They cannot cope any longer. It's a nightmare.

I know I need to keep out of it, but I'm just so worried for the rest of the family and the longterm effect on them.

I'm so concerned for the children involved. I'm worried that it will be causing untold damage to them.

The problem is - there will be complex reasons and fears involved as to why the partner doesn’t leave the drinker. Even when kids are involved.

The partner could get support from Al-Anon . It could help

I'm so concerned for the children involved. I'm worried that it will be causing untold damage to them
Of course it is but clearly the non alcoholic parent/guardian is willing to accept the collateral damage.

Until 'they' do something, what is it you think 'you' can do?

I know that sounds harsh, and I sympathise with your position, but there really isn't anything you can do to change the situation until the parties involved choose to.

Have you spoken the partner? Have they thought about leaving, with the kids? Which (having been there myself) is the one and only option when the drinker is in denial. Of course you are v worried about the kids. But, believe me, the damage to the partner is also not to be underestimated. They will need support too

Its hard to leave an alcoholic. Even when you hate them for their drinking. Its complicated and really hard