Did you choose the right lockdown buddy?

[EssentialHippo]

Ok I appreciate it isn't a choice per se as I own half the house we live in but I so wish I was spending lockdown with my mum and I don't care if that makes me sound like a 12 year old at all.

I have a 4 month old DS and DP does fuck all for him. He swore at our baby the other day for crying. My mum on the other hand is brilliant. She doesn't take over - I still do the majority nappies, baths, feeds, up in the night, steraliser etc but her just holding DS is helpful. Or taking him for 5 when he is crying. DP has left him on the sofa looking really uncomfortable and grizzly. Or he will leave him to cry instead of comforting him. I just want to snap at DP. What is wrong with him?

I spent some time at mums recently and I wish I was going back. I miss talking to her face to face. I miss seeing how happy DS is with his nanny. I miss normal conversations. I miss my mum.

Instead I have a grump who prefers his phone to me and DS and only ever criticises what I have or haven't done. I dread the next lot of "constructive feedback" I haven't asked for and each night the constant pressure to be affectionate (I used to be but during pregnancy he rejected me so much I can't bare it any more!).

I was going to say this was light-hearted but it appears it isn't.... Anyway who would you choose for lockdown if it were a simple choice to make?

Yes you should go stay with your Mum
Your dp sounds like a knob

Just leave and don't go back.

Go to your mum’s in a heartbeat OP. Lockdown could last a lot longer. For your sake, your baby’s and your mum’s, get yourself back there.

Gosh OP I am so sorry, this doesn’t sound like a good situation to be in.

Can you try taking to your partner to tell him how his actions or inaction is making you feel?

Swearing at a 4 month old is just not ok, never mind how stressed you feel.

Reading posts like this makes me realise how lucky I am. My DP have split everything. We’re both WFH in senior roles and we have been taking it in turns to look after our dd. He’s brilliant with her and does crafts with her every single day and he cooks!

Lockdown has oddly been good for our relationship, we’ve had time to really talk, decompress and spend quality time together as a family.

Hope you get things sorted OP.

Just leave. You are allowed to move home, but also to leave an abusive relationship, which this sounds like it is - emotionally, and even sexually, with the trying it on at night after shit behaviour.

I’d go to your Mum’s.

I’m so glad I’m not locked down with exh - he was equally as bad as yours although not in the exact same ways. He’s still the only adult I see at the moment (because of kids’ contact) but I don’t have to live with the fucker.