Insecurities are a b%tch!

[Headamess]

I have wanted to post so often and wrote out posts only to read back, cop myself on or not want to face the truth and delete.
My many posts would have asked "is it me or am I being fooled". Was with ex who treated me badly,unfaithful and made me feel i was being unreasonable, insecure or wasn't good enough. I finally couldn't take it anymore,was broken hearted but ended it. I wanted time to myself after years of being made to feel a fool. He begged and cried but this time i refused to go back.Soon after a male friend told me he was delighted i ended it and had strong feelings for me. I was wary but he persisted. Roll on 6 great months and i couldnt be happier and couldnt fault him. He is so honest and thoughtful. He makes me feel so loved.met family and friends. Ticked all boxes.we talked openly about being hurt in past and how we would be always honest. He listened when i told him about ex. He has been hurt too but has never cheated on anyone. This for me is a dealbreaker and he knows this.
Usually he rings me at night around 11. But tonight i rang him. Went straight to voicemail. I didnt leave a message. I texted 15 min later to say I was wrecked and heading to bed. Kisses blah blah.
He replied 5 mins later, he had fallen asleep was wrecked too. No kisses blah blah.
So i didnt reply obviously. But my insecurities raise their ugly head. 1) he was obviously on phone to go to voicemail.no other reason 2) why not pick up phone to me to grab me before i go to bed rather than txt 5 mins later. 3) if he was on phone why not just say so. He has mates, thats ok with me. 4) no kisses at end of txt.
Now this might sound pathetic but a change in habit or pattern brings me right back to exes behaviour. I want to pull away,which is crazy but im so afraid of getting hurt. Mostly because i have fallen for him. If your advice is to ask him straight out. I can't. I vowed if i had to ever ask someone to be honest then its over. Im close to tears as i feel it was too good to be true now.

Don't over think it, he was probably watching a film or tired. He'll probably respond a bit happier in the morning, this is a stressful time.
You have a choice in how you react to this.
If you want cheering up watch some Iliza Vie Shlesinger

Yanbu to say insecurities are a curse so don't let them ruin things.

Thanks emerald. It's so hard as felt with ex I let things go to avoid. It kills me that I hadn't stood my ground. I never want to feel that way again. So afraid of being fooled or taken for a ride. Its my biggest issue that id nearly end this tomorrow and walk away with a line 'its not you its me"!

My phone does this weird thing where it loses signal when in my pocket, under a pillow, etc. It really could be something as simple as that. Also, if he's half asleep he may have sent the message without adding kisses - it happens. It's good to be vigilant in a relationship, but take each day as it comes. And don't assume everything is a bad sign when there could be an innocent explanation - especially if he's never given you reason to doubt before.

Also, if he usually calls you at 11, why would he chose then to do something dodgy? Or deliberately not send kisses to make you suspicious?
Or if he was having second thoughts, a text at 10.30 to say he was going to bed and would talk another time would make more sense, surely?

See what tomorrow brings, but try to put it out of your head until you speak with him properly. Good luck x

@Headamess I know. Remember he is not you're ex it is hard not to bring the past with you but is your ex worth it? Shake the fucker off.
The comedian I recommended has some funny sketches around insecurities it put thing's in perspective.
I'd say he is just grumpy today. Wait until tomorrow to text again.

*Your

Not the same situation but a good few years back before me and my DH moved in together I'd occasionally fall asleep before we would call/text one another to say goodnight, I'd wake up with the 'was that my phone ringing half asleep thought' so I'd try to quickly reply so he wouldnt feel as if I was ignoring and occasionally I'd forget to put kisses. Not because I didnt want to but simply because I was half asleep and rushing but still wanting to say goodnight.
Its probably what done.

Your past is horrible and cant creep its ugly head up at anytime just try to remind your yourself hes chosen to be with you, treats you as you deserve and most probably loves you. Choose a happy moment with him and fall asleep smiling and I'm sure everything will be good in the morning.

Oh and my phone goes straight to voicemail if I have no signal

Thank you both, i think time of the month is not helping either as i rarely cry and feel weepy too. Button lip and sit tight as you say. I will check out the comedian now!! Thank you, i almost deleted the post as sounded pathetic,but you words do help!

Thanks Tt

1. That’s not true. If it goes straight to voicemail it could be signal issues, or his phone is on do not disturb so calls automatically go to voicemail. My phone automatically goes on DND after 10pm. If he was on the phone, he’d have the opportunity to accept your call so it wouldn’t immediately go to voicemail - I have an iPhone and can certainly accept 2 calls at once, the 1st call just gets placed on hold.

Alternatively he could have just pressed ignore when you called, which isn’t a big deal because we’re all allowed a rest from a daily phone call. He said he was tired. This can also explain 2&3, it’s okay if he’s doesn’t want the call this once. Also I don’t think 4 is a big deal but I know some people place more importance on “kisses”