How to leave DP during lockdown?

[namechange1st]

Namechanged, in case it's not apparent, as if anyone who knows me sees this it'll be instantly recognisable.

I have been with my DP for 7 years now, and have twin girls about to turn 1, however I'm getting to the stage where I'm finally realising he is toxic and we will be happier if I left with the girls, but I don't really know how, what with lockdown and everything that entails.

I know my mum will happily house us until something more permanent is sorted, that's not the issue. The main problem is that my partner has become incredibly coercive since I hit midway through my pregnancy (but that's a whole nother thread entirely) and I now find him really intimidating and worry how I'll be able to get both the girls and their things out the house.

If this wasn't lockdown I know I'd have family round with a van and support, but I don't see how that would work right now due to social distancing.

He does/did suffer from depression but refuses to seek help, so instead it manifests in cruel outbursts and causes me to be constantly walking on eggshells - he screamed that he wished I was dead earlier in front of our crying children earlier today (second time in a week he's told me to "fuck off and die" with venom in his voice) and "jokingly" commented how he could stove my head in with the baseball bat.

Lockdown has just magnified everything seeing I can't visit friends/family with the girls, and while I don't believe he'd raise a hand to me, I'm still scared of him when he's in one of these mindframes.

How do people with more than one small child actually get them both out of a house when they seperate? I'm having nightmares of him physically stopping me from taking one or both of the girls. And how do I then get my/their stuff? I don't see him happily letting my waltz back in after the fact, and since I bought all their items (not just clothes, but nursery furniture/buggy/highchairs) in the first place I would be wanting to take them with us.

We are both tenants on private rental (with a month notice) so the option of having him removed/locks changed isn't going to fly. I also paid all of our rental deposit when we moved in 18m ago, so I don't know the guideline on if I can get any of that back assuming my partner decides to take on the tenancy as a single occupant.

Apologies for the ramble (I don't want to drop feed) and the many stupid questions, I'm exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally, and this board always seems helpful over the years, so please may I ask for your help, advice, or a handhold.

Yes I have a car that's completely mine so no problems there, other than its size as not much room for anything else once the girls are in their seats.

He won't go out and buy anything other than going the local corner shop. I asked him to go to the supermarket the other week and I've not heard the end of it about how I "stitched him up" with knowing there would be queues to get in, etc, (surely everyone knows they are restricting entry, and he sees the same news as me, but of course it's my fault...).

If it's not his working day he doesn't appear from upstairs until 11am so I'd have mornings as a means to leave at a push.

The Covid guidelines specifically have both domestic violence and moving house as exceptions.

They do, but they are not guidelines - they are law.

I really think you need to get up tomorrow, make the usual morning noises and leg it with the children before he realises.

Call the police tomorrow morning and let them know your escaping domestic abuse and you’re scared of your partner. They should send someone over to assist you while you move out. Can you get a van organised? Even ask on a local fb page, I’m sure someone would want to help you out of this situation.

Wishing you all the strength and safety.

As a police officer my best advice is for your end game to be you remaining in the house and him being the one to leave. This will require you to report to, and engage with, the police. You can report this on webchat or by email.

Say who's in the household.
Say you are living on fear of violence.
Say he threatened to assault you with a baseball bat
List everything else significant that he has done(control, corrosion, a minor push, threats etc).
Explain that your children are witnessing this.
Explain that due to lockdown you cannot seek the family help you normally would and feel trapped.
Explain you are unable to talk on the phone and provide a secure email address.

Happy for a pm on here if you want more advice and if you happen to be in my force area I'll make it happen for you. (South West England).

Probably preferable is to go out with the girls for a walk/shop and then either go to the police station or phone while you are out. That way, resources allowing, they can go around and arrest him while you are safely out the way and your girls won't need to see it. I know arrest sounds scary but undoubtedly there will be criminal offences that he has committed even if you don't realise it yourself.

The first step of leaving is the hardest. It's always easier to stay. Normal lockdown rules don't need to apply to you at the moment. Big girls pants on, focus on the end game and your girls and jump. X

And even if they don't charge him with any offences, there are orders that can be given to him prohibiting him from coming back to address, to give you time to sort things out, whether that be you moving all your stuff out or you taking over the tenancy in your sole name (which is normally possible in DA cases).

How are you this evening OP?

@Desmondo2016 gives great advice, would you be able to do any of that?