Ex taking DC to parents in lockdown

[lostandconfused20]

Hi all,
I posted on here about a month ago because I didn’t know how to leave my emotionally/verbally abusive and controlling partner of 6 years. Well, I found the courage one day and took DC while he was at work and went to stay with my brother and family.
I told him I needed space/a break but 2 days after I left he packed all my things into bin liners and I had to take them (when I dropped dc to him for the weekend) I’ve kept in regular contact and let him see dc at weekends (he’s working from home as I am also trying to) anyway last weekend he told me he has been to visit his elderly parents. I was angry because we’re on lockdown and not supposed to! His dad has been ill for many years and this week had to go to hospital (non Covid related) and tested negative for it. But he’s saying he wants dc this weekend and will be helping his mum to care for his dad as he needs 24hr care and she can’t do it.
He has 2 dc from previous relationship that haven’t seen him since lockdown, his ex hasn’t let them.
How do I deal with this? I have to word it politely as he gets angry but I don’t want DC to be going to his parents house!

Stop contact whilst lockdown is in effect. If he cannot be bothered to follow the rules then he cannot have the kids.
That's what I would do anyway 🤷

You don't have to put your children's health at risk for this man or even his parents'.

If he's incapable of social distancing properly, then it's safer that he doesn't see child right now.

I understand he wants to help his mum, but not where your child could be placed at risk.

State the facts to him and thar due to concerns with him being unable to properly self isolate, as he's seeing his elderly parents, DC will be with you for the duration of lockdown.

If he tries to kick off and involve any authorities, your written message is clear and it shows you aren't being spiteful for the fun of it.

Its his parents he is putting at risk, by taking the kids there. Ask him how he will feel if one of the kids gives his parent covid. How old are the kids if they are older than 5 they will realise if that happens.

Thanks for all your replies. I’m so annoyed that he’s now going to make me the bad guy because he doesn’t think his dad has long left but his dad was in hospital and tested negative for Covid but what if he caught it after the test while in hospital or even on his way out 😕
I have texted him this morning and tried to be as diplomatic as possible, he has responded asking where this has come from and he’s been to see them the last 3 weekends!! (Which I didn’t know!) he’s saying I’ve been round there for the last 3 days so what am I saying, he can’t see DC!!
My anxiety is back bad... and now I’m reminded why I had to leave him

How would he feel if your DC gave the virus to either of his DPs? I miss my elderly mum but I wouldn't go to visit her because I don't want her to become ill! Same goes for my DD and my DGC! He just doesn't get it does he?

Tell him the legislation prevents mixing of households bar swapping dc for contact and you’d rather keep his vulnerable parents safe.

Theres a good chance his dad has covid 19, the hospitals are infected hid dad is vunrable. I'd be keeping the children away whilst on lockdown to protect them and others. Remember 2 weeks before the symptoms start we walk around feeling healthy but we are actually very infectious and spreading this virus to every poor sole. He wont like this and will likely spit his dummy out. Tell him and others why you are doing it because he cannot be trusted and because you love your DC and also are thinking if others. Tell people involved with arrangements what shit he is pulling. It's sad for us but my parents understand why I'm not taking the grandchildren to visit nanny and granda. Stick to your guns op

Honestly I don’t even understand why he has taken our child the last 3 weekends (which I didn’t know about) he’s an intelligent man, I can’t believe he would put his parents at risk. His Dad tested negative while in hospital but I pointed out to ex, what if he caught it after the test? Even on his way out of the door?!
He’s not happy, I said Im worried about keeping our child safe and he said ‘so you’re saying I’m not then? Do what you want’
I’ve not replied and I’m leaving it at that.
Just wanted to be sure I wasn’t being unreasonable and have some support because I’m probably going to feel guilty (as I already do for leaving) if his dad passes.
Thanks everyone