Why can't I leave him?

[shakiwulub9]

As above really.

I'm really struggling to find the courage to end things.

We are both 24.
We have been together for 2 years.
For the first year things were great fun, I was genuinely happy. Now I find my boyfriend boring, miserable (yes, he is constantly grumpy - and I am bubbly and outgoing) and I feel we have very little in common.
I have tried to continue the effort throughout lockdown, but it is always ME who makes the calls and sends the texts. Even when I do, the call lasts less than 2 minutes, he sounds very lacking in enthusiasm to talk to me.
He has stopped taking an interest in my hobbies and my career.

We broke up last year for a few months, but he became very emotionally manipulative (saying life wasn't worth living without me etc) - if I'm being totally honest, I am SCARED to call things off for good because I can't take his emotional rollercoaster again.
He will say that I am his world... but really, from the above, can you blame me for not feeling like that!?

I don't know what to do :-( I just need a big dose of courage to pluck up and do it but I'm having a real mental block. WHY!?
One of my friends suggested that I, subconsciously, don't want to end things because he has a good job and earns decent money. But I've always said you cannot put a price on a caring person with a good sense of humour!! I can't remember the last time he made me laugh.

Help please? It is really bringing my down and I feel like I've only got myself to blame. Tia xx

End it and block him. Tell him it's not working for you and wish him well for the future, but ask him please not to contact you from thereon in.

Don't give in to his manipulation. You don't have kids with him, you don't live with him... it's doable if you want to do it.

He sounds at very least manipulative, quite possibly abusive.

When you are his ex-girlfriend, it is not your role to support him through his depression. Leave him to friends/ family/ professionals etc but you don't have to ride the emotional rollercoster with him. You shouldn't feel scared to end a relationship, that isn't healthy.

End it and block. His emotional rollercoaster is really not your responsibility. You can’t make anyone do anything he can’t make you responsible for his happiness. You are too young to be tied down in an unhappy relationship. Lockdown should be teaching you to live your life to the fullest. Not coasting by with someone you resent. Please use lockdown to end it and block him without and repercussions as he can’t come over and see you.

Life is short and you're far too young to settle for some half arsed mediocre relationship. If you stay you'll regret it and it will get harder the longer you wait. He won't change. I know from experience leaving is difficult but why stay if you're unhappy? You deserve to be happy too x

Op leave because he will say that to the next to who will stay because she's scared.

I did, my exdp's ex did. After speaking to each other we both had the same relationship and abuse.

If you don't leave he will at someone when something new comes along.

It's about actions! And if his action DONT show love move on.
My ex dp would mark himself as proof he would kill himself, funny thing he is still alive!!!!

I would be reluctant to end it too, if I thought I had to go through all that rollercoaster stuff again. But you don't! As PPs have said, after you dump, you block. You leave him, an adult, to sort out his own feelings, find his own support, live his own life away from you.

And in the peace and quiet, you can start living your new life.

Dum- and block life’s too short.

Just do it. I didn't & here I am 28 years later still trying to get away. Value your life everyone deserves happiness. Take care.

Dear OP - your BF is using emotional blackmail to keep you in the relationship. That is totally unacceptable. It is in fact abusive - and a common tactic of abusers to threaten suicide when their partner tries to leave. .

As PP have said - it is extremely unlikely that he will harm himself but either way it is not your responsibility to stay with him when the relationship is no longer working for you. His feelings do NOT come before yours. The relationship is over for you and you are absolutely entitled - indeed, I would say obliged - to end it and walk away. He will be hurt but he can turn to his family, friends and, if necessary, counselling for support with those hurt feelings. Most of us have had our hearts broken at some point and gone on to find other partners with whom we have built very happy lives. It's part of life. The pain does pass. You learn whatever lessons you needed to learn. And you go boldly onwards.

You are clearly a kind and caring person and your BF has exploited that to keep you trapped. But you do yourself and in fact him no favours by staying in a relationship you don't want to be in - you have every right to be in a relationship that makes you happy; there may be someone else out there who is more compatible with him in any case; and indeed, he may need the incentive to do some work on himself to make him a more desirable relationship partner (not for you but for a future partner). As PP have said - you are only 24; you have no ties to him - you're not married, you don't have children together, you don't co-own a property. It is only his threats which bind you together. Please do end it and stand firm if he tries to blackmail you into changing your mind. Your job is to live your life, not his.