I have a 23 year old son living with me who has been essentially wasting his life for the past 5 years. He's suffered mental health issues and depression which have worstened in the past 18 months since my DH took his life very suddenly. I have tried relentlessly to get him counselling but he refuses.I have supported him endlessly both emotionally and financially from my pension fund, which is dwindling rapidly. My son has Never held down a job for more than a month and refuses to even look for work. I'm widowed and not working, but supporting him for the past few years. Each time I ask him to pay rent and make a contribution he shrugs but never pays any rent to help with the bills / food. He's staying up all night gaming and sleeping in half the day. Meantime he is wasting his inheritance from his father's life insurance a & there is a constant stream of Amazon deliveries to the house of expensive Tech equipment and gadgets, today a very expensive new laptop arrived. I feel extremely resentful and angry. Easter weekend he lost his temper with me when I was on the phone talking to a male friend, screaming at me because I didn't serve his dinner and said he was going to kill the guy I was talking to (which my friend heard). He smashed the patio doors in my house by throwing a dinner plate at them & I was so upset and scared I called the Police. Police said they would arrest him for criminal damage and hold him in the cells overnight but in the end he went to stay at my eldest sons house after my youngest son persuaded them not to arrest him. In spite of me saying I refused to take him back, my eldest son brought him back to the house the following day telling me he's my problem. And my eldest son now blames me for being an irresponsible parent because my 23 year old has deflected all the blame onto me saying I am a bad mother because I didn't serve his dinner and ignored him. I am beside myself, upset and feeling physically sick. I've told my son I want him to move out by the end of July , I want my own space and cannot continue to have him living with me I've done all I can. Advice please, I feel traumatised and lonely because I don't have a partner and my son is sabotaging any chance I have of rebuilding my life, let alone having a relationship with a nice Man. My male friend called me and said he heard everything & now I've lost the chance of building a relationship with someone I like. I feel like my life is being sabotaged. Advice please?