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Original poster

Spare sim card?

23 replies

Chiwi · 15/04/2020 19:05

I need to know how to play this.
DP and I were taking baby daughter for jabs today, only 1 parent in the appointment so he took her and I went to get a few bits from the co-op opposite.
I got back to the car before they did and was trying to find the charging cable for my phone. But instead found the left over card from a new pay as you go sim card.
I'm trying to scrabble for a reasonable reason as to why he would have it but I can't find one.
I've put the number into my phone, it doesn't have a watsapp account.
Do I confront? Is there any way I can find out more about this number before I do?

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 15/04/2020 19:09

Why did you not just ask him?

oatlyexhausted · 15/04/2020 19:19

Could it be for work? I know a few teachers that have bought separate SIM cards so they can call / txt parents about pupils' work without using their own personal number.

Original poster
Chiwi · 15/04/2020 19:21

Absolutely no chance it could be for work.

I didn't ask him because I immediately thought the worst. There is no reason I can think that he would have it and not have mentioned it.

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 15/04/2020 19:24

Why did you think the worst?

Does he have form?

Have you had bed experiences in the past that could be colouring your judgement?

funnylittlefloozie · 15/04/2020 19:24

Just ask him.

Original poster
Chiwi · 15/04/2020 19:31

No form with me.
About 6 months after we got together I found out he has a bit of a reputation.
I have been cheated on before but didn't think it affected me.

My reservations about asking him are seeing my friend find similar from her partner and him denying and then destroying all the evidence. She still ties herself in knots about what may have been happening and will never know.

Tbh I'm not sure why I didn't say something, I got a cold sweat when I found it and just reacted without thinking.

I'm scared of what this would mean for our future and our baby girl.

OP posts:
SandyY2K · 15/04/2020 19:36

If you are suspicious don't ask. That just enables him to be more secretive.

Keep your eyes open and look around for a second phone.

They're often hidden in gym bags, car boots, u derby the car seat, in the tyre/spare wheel place, work rucksacks or laptop bags, coat pockets, pockets of jackets in wardrobes....and many more places.

NuffSaidSam · 15/04/2020 19:41

I would ask him. Just watch carefully how he reacts. If he's got no idea you know then he's either going to tell the truth or make something up on the spot.

Once you're rooting through his stuff looking for a second phone the relationship is over whether he's doing anything untoward or not.

Original poster
Chiwi · 15/04/2020 19:44

I don't have the energy or time to root through our house to try to find a second home that may or may not exist. Don't want to do that either.

I just have no idea how to ask him about it. If there is someone else I have no idea what I am going to do. I'm so terrified.

Maybe I'm being over dramatic as I have a tiny baby and probably still very hormonal.

OP posts:
SpudsAreLife84 · 15/04/2020 19:44

Don't say anything yet, watch to see if it is used on WhatsApp if "last seen" is activated so you'll know if its actually in use. Like you say, if there IS anything untoward going on, the second you mention it all evidence will be gone I guarantee it.

Do you have joint finances? Any unusual transactions for top ups if PAYG or anything?

opticaldelusion · 15/04/2020 19:47

Where did you find the card and how do you know how long it's been there?

Original poster
Chiwi · 15/04/2020 19:52

We have a joint account for house, bills etc. But also have our own separate accounts with our wages paid in so can't follow the money really.

The car is 12 months old. I'm pretty certain I've got his wallet out of the centre console in the past before and it's not been in there. But it can't be more than 12 months old and we've been together for 5 years. Also he has cleaned out his car in the last 2 months.

OP posts:
Original poster
Chiwi · 15/04/2020 19:53

I already checked the number and it isn't on watsapp.

It was in the centre console, was looking for a charging cable for my phone.

OP posts:
CoronaIsShit · 15/04/2020 19:53

Send a message to the number when he’s out of the house saying ‘it’s me, lost my phone, you ok?’ or some such bollocks. Does he go out to work or are you both at home in lockdown?

See what reply you get?

Original poster
Chiwi · 15/04/2020 19:57

He would know it was my number texting it, that's if its him using the phone.

He is a key worker so going out to work shifts.

I'm just going to have to ask I think. I don't see another way around it.

OP posts:
CoronaIsShit · 15/04/2020 19:58

Sorry forgot to add-not from your mobile number! You’d have to get another SIM yourself.

bobstersmum · 15/04/2020 20:00

You are going to have to ask. Be strong. If he seems like he's flapping then you'll know.

BlackAndWhiteCat01 · 15/04/2020 22:12

I have a second SIM (legit just for o2 rewards)
I keep it in the phone cover... it’s the most obvious place. Does he have a case on his phone?

Seaweed42 · 16/04/2020 01:28

There could be an innocent reason. Sometimes a sim stops working. If you get a better deal with a mobile company you need a new Sim then port the number. Or if you switch mobile providers.

CalleighDoodle · 16/04/2020 01:37

Difficult. Im not sure what you would gain from asking him. Does he insist on walking the dog, taken up running during lockdown? I generally assume the worst and would wonder if he had a ow and he got the sim because they cant see each other during lockdown.

Or it could be to upgrade his contract.

timeisnotaline · 16/04/2020 01:39

Yes there are legit reasons but they are the kind of things you mention. No way would my oh not say if his sim died or he was changing deals. I guess significant money worries is a reason he might not want to share with the op, but if he’s downgrading his phone contract there would be lots of other ways he’s cutting back costs too.

VanGoghsDog · 16/04/2020 01:44

I have a dual SIM phone, I have a second SIM on a different network just in case my network stops working. Dp doesn't know about this as it's never occurred to me to tell him. Until two weeks ago when my normal number wouldn't work so I called him from that one instead. Surprised him a bit. He asked if it was my work number - no.....that's a third number.....(that he also doesn't have!).

inacheeseandpicklesandwhich · 16/04/2020 07:17

Hi op out your number on withheld and phone it . Also if he's in the bathroom for a long time if there is a 2nd phone he will prob be using it then and it will go off . My ex had another SIM card I found in the car on the way home from hospital after a misscarriage . I was deverstated . When he went to get petrol I put it in my phone and loads of messages from numerous girls where we lived and he worked with also a bunch of stinking photos they had sent him too ! X

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