what to do for the best, confused

[Slightlylost1]

Im 52 and separated from my wife at the beginning of the year, after what was a pretty shit 10 years, i was sure this was what i wanted. I stayed in the house, albeit separate bedrooms, and about 1 month ago, moved out into our apartment. I did start a sort of friendship/relationship about 10weeks ago, although this has petered out since the lockdown. My wife was initially took it well, then went demonic, and now wants to make another go of it, She then started inviting me back for dinner, as she said it was important that i spend meal time with my son (19), i felt guitly and wanted to smooth the waters so agreed. However Following dinner on Monday, we both got stoned and ended up DTD. She has taken this to mean we are getting back together, whereas i am very unsure, and TBH completely confused. This was totally out of character for her, and the first time we have had sex in 3 years. Just don't know what to to for the best, i don''t want to upset her again, destroy her confidence, but i also don't know if this is what i want.

If you don't love her any more don't go back. Be strong. Don't do anything rash anyway. It's a stressful time right now.

Are you confused, or are you doing something to dont want to do under sufferance?
Why don’t you See your son at yours to uncomplicated things for as while.

You need to communicate to your wife that you are not viewing sex the other night as a reconciliation.

Your marriage won’t mend itself. You need to put a lot of work in, including couple counselling, only up will know of you are prepared to do that.

Apologise for leading her on, (even if that wasn't your intention) and tell her nothing has changed and the relationship is over. Don't get stoned or drunk with her again, keep separate.

At 19, your son is very much old enough to manage his own relationship with you, so if you don't have much of a relationship with him without her input, it's time you worked on that.

Sorry, I read your post as you dithering, rather than actually being confused about being with her. It doesn't sound to me like you do want to be in a relationship with her, just that it's the familiarity.

She's not going to change. Nor you. So you have to think about the default deal - what your marriage looks like with no lockdown and no chemical mind-bending.

You had done this. Looked at it and said you didn't want it.

I don't think you can let her go on thinking it's now a done deal and you're back. You have to sit her down. Maybe the best is to suggest counselling when you're out of lockdown. Or, even better. Online now. Do that in lockdown. Have zoom counselling.

So you can both get to talk it through.