Hi everyone
I'm just looking for some advice as I am so different to my sister and I'm not sure I handle her very well.
She's in her early 30s and is single, she has had some lovely boyfriends in the past but it never works out. She is ridiculously intelligent and always scored absolute top marks.
I can only say that she seems to hold the world in utter contempt.
I don't think I've ever heard her admit that she's made a misjudgment or done something wrong. In her opinion no one works harder than her and everyone else gets things handed to them on a plate. She is constantly saying that I don't know how lucky I am.
When you try and talk to her over messages you just get 'Yes' 'No' 'Whatever'. Single words, a sentence if you're lucky. If you talk to her on the phone or in person you are walking on eggshells constantly.
She's a couple of years younger than me and so when I was on maternity leave I met lots of girls from her school year. Whenever I mentioned it she would say they were stupid. They were perfectly nice.
On first meeting her though she is really really lovely. It's as people get closer to her that she seems to take her anger out on them. So she is fine at work but doesn't have any close friends or a boyfriend. She just has me, mum and dad.
The weirdest things is she ricochets between being completely awful and absolutely sickly sweet. She lost her temper with me the other day, but then today has sent me flowers telling me to 'never forget how much I am loved' and will often send gushing messages to me. But then she lashes out again if I'm not grateful enough. It's exhausting.
An example would be that she said for her birthday she wanted to take my 18 month old on a miniature train ride and could we meet at this garden centre at 1pm. I didn't want an argument, so moved his nap and got there for 1pm assuming wee could eat at the cafe first. She kicked off that she wasn't having her birthday lunch at a garden centre cafe, she insisted we go on the train then and there. We then travel to the place she does want to eat and its full. She isn't mortified, she starts crying because her birthday isn't what she wanted?! We then drove for 45 minutes to her second favourite place, by now its 3:30pm and my son has eaten my entire emergency snack provision.
But then later that night the family gets a gushing message about how important we all are to her?
I just don't know how to handle her. I can't fall out with her or ignore her, it would break my mum's heart. I just need a way to deal with the ups and downs of it without getting wound up or upset!