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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Lockdown nightmare

12 replies

Shineonyou · 14/04/2020 11:41

Spent a week with a boyfriend (new-ish relationship). Thought it would be exciting and nice to spend more time together.
We were working from his home.
I made breakfast, lunch and dinner every day. He purchased everything.
My work has been busier and been really, really long hours due to coronavirus. His has been fairly stable, able to knock off at 5pm.
Yet he absolutely refused to speak to me during working hours.
If i said anything, even in passing, he would snap at me in a vile way.
He was in a bad mood all week and I did not feel welcome.
One day he said he did not think I would get a job I applied for because the salary was too high. Yet I explained my former colleague and close friends, who was on an even lower salary than mine, got an even higher salary at the same organisation, and she was recommending me to the director.
I could not stand it anymore so I left and went back to my home (where I live alone).
Feeling sad that we could not even spend a week on lock together. A few of my friends are loving the extra time with their partners.
It's left such a bad feeling for me.
Time to end it?

OP posts:
Piglet208 · 14/04/2020 12:01

Whilst some might argue that lockdown is stressful and not a normal environment to judge a relationship in, I would say that him snapping at you in a vile way and having no belief in you, would suggest he isn't the person for you. No need to fight for a newish relationship, let him go and wait until after lockdown for someone who makes you happy. Better to be alone, than miserable.

Eesha · 14/04/2020 12:04

Time to end it, he is showing you who he really is. Listen.

DonnaDarko · 14/04/2020 12:06

I'm sorry, he doesn't sound like a nice person at all. He sounds rude, disrespectful and unsupportive. Its lucky you found out now rather than later.

aModernClassic · 14/04/2020 12:14

He sounds horrid.
So he is finishing around 5pm each day, while you're still working. Yet you're still making breakfast, lunch and dinner every day. And to top it off, he won't talk to you during the working day?!

Please see this as a lucky escape. If he's like this now, he won't change. You deserve better.

soannya · 14/04/2020 12:18

Definitely finish it!!

Makeitgoaway · 14/04/2020 12:22

There are always two sides....maybe if you distracted yourself less during the working day, you would also finish at 5pm?

No, he sounds awful. TBH first week living together after (presumably) being apart for a while I'd expect him to be distracted himself by your very presence.

ThirtyAndASmidgen · 14/04/2020 12:23

Sounds like he wanted a live-in cook, to be honest. You’ve had a lucky escape.

Shahira78 · 14/04/2020 12:33

How LUCKY are you to be presented with a situation for you to clearly see what your potential partner is like?

Take this as a genuine blessing. Don't contact him again. He has lost out.

helpmum2003 · 14/04/2020 12:42

Bin him

monkeymonkey2010 · 14/04/2020 12:50

I made breakfast, lunch and dinner every day. He purchased everything
Why?!
Is cooking food your default role cos you're a woman?

My work has been busier and been really, really long hours due to coronavirus. His has been fairly stable, able to knock off at 5pm
Yet you carried on doing all the cooking?

Seems like you fell into that 'women's work' trap.....and with a guy who it sounds like only wanted you around to cook his food and provide him with company and extras for when 'he clocked off'.

As a learning experience, i think it's provided you with valuable insight

sickofhim · 14/04/2020 13:05

I'm surprised you even need to ask. Think of it as a lucky escape.

WishICouldThinkOfAGoodName · 14/04/2020 16:02

Yes, he’s shown you who he is. Believe him.

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