How do you meet someone when..

[PumpkinP]

Has anyone been in a situation where they are a completely lone parent (no ex involvement so kids don’t go there and no family that help) how do you/ have you gone on to meet someone else? Is it even possible or will I be alone forever?

Of course it's possible! How many kids do you have, and what age?

It is if you have a decent support network and meet someone who is understanding of your situation. My ex is as useful as a chocolate fireguard and none of my family lives near me. I basically need to pay for any childcare I have and managed to date (which I loathed, but needs must). It's totally doable.

I wonder this too. My ex is involved but only by coming to my house when I am at work (pre pandemic) as they very rarely if ever go to his.

I went on a few dates (7) with someone in December/January/February and it wasn’t easy, as it added so much stress in a way. Because even though mine are all teens and totally leavable, I still somehow don’t have that much time - between work and trying to be with them a bit. And leaving them overnight is problematic (not that that was necessary during my platonic dates, but it would be an issue). Also, it didn’t go anywhere between my date and I and one of the reasons he sited was my “commitments” (aka dc!!) so I don’t think it’s always super easy.

However I think that with the right person there would be a workaround for everything and I too really want to meet someone as my marriage was my one relationship ever, and for many years I was very lonely within it (being subjected to very long silent treatments was one of its delightful features ), so if this is it for me love wise I shall be very sad. Not to mention the fact that the lockdown has really brought home to me how lonely I am.

I think dating while being solely in charge of kids means being very organised in terms of finding childcare and putting dates in the diary.

Tried it but couldn’t manage it. I wasn’t prepared to introduce my child to someone very early and this would have meant having to only see someone once a week at most. I work full-time and my son does quite a lot of activities.

I just was prepared to push him to one side every Saturday night to date. Didn’t really seem fair to me when his father had basically shoved him to one side to be with OW.

8 years I’ve been single. I might feel differently when he’s an older teen but who knows.

Waiting it out until the kids are in school. Day dates, coffee, cinema. It's very doable. It's just not the normal way.

I found it too hard and gave up. The logistics were too tricky and I was cancelling too much.

I met a shift worker and we managed for about a year meeting in the daytime but when I met someone who worked full-time 9-5 and he had his children on weekends, it was a non-starter.

Yes I could conceivably spend one day and night a weekend with a potential partner, but it would mean asking my ex with whom I do not get on to spend one night a week at mine. Because my three teens are oblivious to the world around them, and leaving them alone to deal with a potential fire or break in would really scare me / feel irresponsible.

(And I couldn’t have someone I hardly know to stay with us once a week). It is actually problematic and the only issue with waiting until they have left home is that I will be even more ancient!!

I've had 2 relationships since DH died (kids were tiny). I used babysitters, swaps with friends, grandparents and him sneaking over for dinner once kids asleep and then sneaking home again! (Obviously once I knew and trusted him)

It's been 18 months and he's now locked down with us which is a godsend as I'm still working full time!!

So yes it's totally possible. He never wanted kids but is great with mine!

I’m a widow so if I’m not at work, I’m with the children. I have no childcare options what so ever. I have just started on dating sites and for me I’ve had to be very clear about what I can commit to. So for me I would need to meet someone weekdays, around work when the children are at school. I’m not interested in introducing anyone to the children so they will never meet. Effectively it sounds like I want a friend with benefits, but that’s all I can manage so, so be it.

children are 9,8,6 and 2 nearly 3. I have been single for 3 years (haven’t had sex in 3 years!) but I am not looking for something casual. I am very lonely and don’t want to be on my own forever, when I say I have zero help, I mean none at all, no one will look after 4, might have been easier with one but 4 is abit much for most people, I can’t be the only one in this situation so just wondered how others manage it.