No intimacy anymore

[Louise26x]

Dh and I have been together for 6 years.

I have two older children and we have a Dd together.

The first 4 years were amazing. We did a lot and spent alot of time together. I felt wanted, loved, and attractive.

Fast forward and oldest has turned into a pre term and has demanded a lot more time. She doesn’t just chill in her room in the evening anymore and is always downstairs now. She has more homework Which Dh does as he’s smart with her.

Dh barely spends any time with me anymore. We have sex probably once a month if that.

I’m so fed up. Iv asked and begged for more attention/time/love and he always says he will but he never does.

I’m so fed up of being right at the bottom and coming last. I know that sounds awful.

I’m starting to resent all of them.

Yeah at the moment lockdown isn’t exactly creating a romantic atmosphere either. When things go back to normal you can implement a few lifestyle changes, like more frequent date nights (even stay at home ones) and some after school activities/ sleep overs for the kiddos to get them out the house. Tale as old as time really, but getting passive aggressive and resentful definitely will not bring the changes you want. In this respect you have to put out what you want to attract and accept that it won’t come if it’s forced and defo not if you’re making him feel like he’s constantly not meeting your expectations. Think about how it was good before, and talk to each other kindly about how to get it there again. These things also wax and wane so it’s not gone forever. It’s a tough time for everyone and he probably feels more pressure to keep her schooling on track at the moment.

Your thread title mentions intimacy but then you talk about sex.

Which is it that you feel there is a lack of? Sex? Or both?

Ah reread, sounds like both.

Your needs are still just as important OP, if that wasn’t clear in my first response. But I’ve learnt that being a parent often means your needs take a back seat to your children’s at times. And these are strange times. Try to stay positive, let him know what you’re missing with out pressure on either of you and try to get on the same page. That might mean dividing up chores so you get more me time too. Hope you can make it work