So Tuesday just gone after 3 years of an uphill struggle with my ex, I've finally asked him to leave.
Between us we have 4 kids, my eldest son, his two daughters and our son.
From day one of us, I've made it clear who I am as parent, and what I expect from my children, when we moved in together I said I don't expect him to be as strict but I'd like all 4 kids to be treated the same and there be no inequality.
Throughout my pregnancy (which he was up and down about, and hasn't bonded with son fully) he was texting and speaking to his daughters mum, I wasn't worried as it was about the kids, until I seen flirty texts to and from her. I asked him to maybe find an way to communicate without it being flirty and only about children. He did. But unbeknown you're me he was paying her bills and wasn't paying half of the bills here. I found it out when she asked why he hadn't paid her sky bill. It all stopped.
But now we are distant, he refused to co parent or for there to be equality with all 4 children. He would sit on his phone when the girls weren't here and ignore the boys.
He never made effort with my eldest son, making him feel an outcast, and it resulted in him acting out in school. We've never seen eye to eye on parenting issues. He won't let me tell his daughters off without it resulting in an argument or fight, even if they've been rude, or naughty and lashed out at the boys.
I'm left feeling very weary and tired.
Since the relationship has ended, he's refusing to talk to me, even about our son, he's refusing to pay half of this months bills, and refusing maintenance, as I don't want my son going back and forth to his mums, she's a nhs worker, working with corona patients. And I don't want to risk his health as he was prem.
basically I'm struggling, I feel like that our family didn't matter to him, only his daughters, and as much as I understand he loves them. But Why is he treating me so differently, I've tried to keep contact with FaceTiming twice a day him so our 18 month old can see him. And I just don't want it to be unfair. Or my son to grow up not understanding why his dad only sees him 1 night every other weekend, yet he has his daughters week on/week off.
Any words of help, will be greatly appreciated x