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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I in the wrong here?

3 replies

Halli10 · 13/04/2020 01:28

Hi everyone.
This is about my friend of 7 years, well ex best friend.

We were very close and used to go out and about all the time, I saw her as a sister really. We were the same age, I suffer with mental health problems so therefore I didn’t stay in jobs as I found it tough and I came from a council estate. She has a job from 15, was in a relationship and had a nice family life, in a private and nice area. I never felt envious of her as like I said I saw her as my own family member, I was always pleased for her. I remember she started studying at university and I was doing an open university course as I had no qualifications but wanted to better myself, she made a remark saying “well it’s not a proper university is it?”, she also said after her mum had another baby her mum was looking for a bigger house, I jokingly said, you could find a place to be nearer me. She said “my family are middle class I doubt they’d want to move to your area.” Which initially hurt me. One day I snapped at her and brought this up as I felt as if she was looking down at me, and she contacted me less. She then made a remark about how she works and has a boyfriend, as if she was rubbing it in my face a bit. So we had a falling out and had a big argument and didn’t talk for a year. She said hurtful things to me, I said hurtful things to her which is gone now.

Recently now that I’ve moved away and my circumstances have changed I tried to make peace with her, I mentioned about my mental health and apologise for saying the things I said to her. She was condescending and said she finds it hard to believe that my mental health has got better, which I took offence to say made another comment back about how I don’t think she has fully healed from her father cutting her out and needs to get help for it. She heard some home truths she didn’t like and I thought if she was personal to me I would do so back.

So then yesterday I got an email from the POLICE saying to make no further contact with her, and I was advised to block her from all social media. Her friends kept trying to communicate via social media which I found quite childish, saying how I’m a nasty person, etc etc. I don’t know if I’m in the wrong. But either way I guess I wish her well, I don’t know what her problem is and I guess I never will. What do you think? Brutal honest opinions appreciated. Thanks

OP posts:
VanGoghsDog · 13/04/2020 01:31

It doesn't matter who is in the wrong, she doesn't want to hear from you so you have to put it behind you.

She doesn't sound very nice. Find a new friend.

OldEvilOwl · 13/04/2020 18:25

As above poster said - it doesn't matter, try and move on

Flatbellyfella · 13/04/2020 20:24

I don't think you were in the wrong, trying to rekindle what you thought was a real friendship. But now it's clear, she is not a nice person for you to be connected to, try to forget & distance yourself from her. Best wishes for the future.

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