I messed up

[Imessesup]

Ok I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years I had a daughter from another relationship, our relationship has been a bit rocking I found out that he was on dating sites and porn sites ect about a year ago, we are still together I really wanted to work things out as we have twins together, anyways we have been arguing lots for years pass few weeks, anyways he said it was over left and slept in his car, I had a few glasses of wine and my son Nan phoned me up for a chat ( she always does ) anyways my x was there and also had a few beers he snap chatted me taking dirty I went along because I needed some attention I know it’s bad, anyways we chatting all night and I sent a nude to him. I know I’m in the wrong, I feel so guilty I wouldn’t never normally do it and wouldn’t do it again.... I was going to tell my boyfriend but I just found out I’m pregnant, and I know he would leave me! What should I do tell me and deal with it?
I know it’s all bad I feel so sick with it.

Tell him I mean

Keep it to yourself and forget it. It was a mistake. It’s not worth the fallout.

I can’t believe I was so stupid
Makes it worse as it’s my son dad and I still have to see him, I honestly believe you wouldn’t say anything he also have a girlfriend, and he said he wouldn’t fuck things up for me, it would break his son heart to as my boyfriend has been around since my son was 1

He wouldn’t

our relationship has been a bit rocking I found out that he was on dating sites and porn sites ect about a year ago

we have been arguing lots for years

he said it was over left and slept in his car

It sounds like a shit relationship. And he said it was over. Don't tell him anything.

Does he often say it is over and leave? As that is a tactic of a controlling partner.
What are all the arguments about?

Four children in a bad relationship sounds awfully sad for all those children and you.

Would it be so bad if he left?

What are the chances that, your ex may tell him at some point in the future?

He never leaves, it was the first week of lock down and we never spent that amount of time together, he’s works a lot and goes to the gym most night, we argue over stupid things, we can be great together, I start a lot of the arguments over the sites he was on, but now I’m just as bad.

@Shitsgettingcrazy I don’t work and wouldn’t be able to work with 4 kids and no family how would I pay my bills.... He’s honestly a great dad and we don’t argue around the kids, x

but now I’m just as bad absolutely fucking not. no some research on the open industry. It isnt the same. at all.

He never leaves
Does he threaten to leave?

I didn’t mean we argue for years it should of been a year since I found the sites, we was great before that x

Do you think he only just started looking at open a year ago? Or was it only great when he was hiding open use?

@ConstanceDoodleton no really if we argue he will go for a drive so we don’t argue around the kids

I'm sorry OP but why would you bring another baby into this? The relationship sounds a shambles and you'd both be better off apart. I hope you find a way forward

I know he shouldn’t of set up the dating site ect but I honestly believe he hasn’t been on it since and I went though to whole site before I told him I knew about it, and there was nothing on there ( no better I know )

@Fairycake2 believe it or not i he the implant it

Had

2 wrongs don’t make a right I know that, I love him I do, but every relationship has bad patches don’t they?? I don’t want to spilt up my family

He said it was over, therefore you have nothing to feel guilty for.

@eyeswideshit he said it out of anger x

And? If he didn't mean it he shouldn't have said it.

If you can excuse his behaviour because he was emotional then he should also excuse your behaviour.

Just not like me, I will try and forget it

The bigger problem here is that you are still in a relationship. Everything you're saying... end it!

If you want to try and make it work with your current partner then by all means give it a go - he sounds a bit shit tho with the dating website etc.....
What you certainly shouldn’t do is feel bad about the texts with your ex - your boyfriend had said it was over! Honestly. Cut yourself some slack and move on. And look after yourself! X