How to go about it

[Nextsteps76]

NC for this one. I've been in long term relationship for about 8 years. I'm 28, we were young when we got together. He's not a bad guy, but I'm basically living with a house mate not a dp. We very rarely go out together, even when we're both in the house we spend almost all our time apart. We sleep in separate rooms. I feel like our lives are moving in separate directions a year ago I tried to have the conversation about having children in the near future, he pretty much shut down and wouldn't really talk about it. I'm not feeling the spark anymore. I feel myself looking at other people's relationships and feeling sad that mine has lost all the joy. I don't feel this is repairable and past the point of counselling. I've got to the point where I would like to move on. I own the house that we live in, he has enough savings that he could move out without an issue financially. I could manage financially on my own also. I feel awful and wouldnt do anything until lockdown is lifted as I wouldn't want to put him in a bad position.
How do you go about breaking up with someone when there is no fault, don't want to hurt him anymore than necessary. We are not married, no children in this situation

It sounds fairly clear-cut and straightforward, then. When you're ready, you tell him how you're feeling as you've done here, that it's not working for you and it's over, and you expect him to move out on x date. I know it feels hard and complicated, but it's just getting over that hump of saying the thing, really.

Every prior relationship ended in an argument (due to cheating on their part), so finding it difficult to think how to go about it when he hasn't done anything wrong. Think I'm going to struggle to pluck up the courage to actually do it to be honest. Feel terrible at the thought of hurting him

Life is short. If you want kids and so forth, you've got to make the jump. People get over being dumped.

And really, you'd be doing him a favour - once he's out of this thing with you, he'll be able to find a more conventional relationship with someone, sleeping with someone/enjoying time together, those things you don't have together.

Just be honest, your original post is your reason.
It's horrible the thought of hurting someone but life really is too short and you deserve your happiness too.

I sympathise OP, I really do. I went through this last year. I ended a LTR with a very good man. He hadn't done anything wrong, was kind, supportive, generous, we had so much in common. But I just felt suffocated. I felt I was compromising my dreams and my own identity by being with him. I started to feel really down and blue and knew I had to do something. It took me weeks, if not months to gain the courage to talk to him - but when I did, I felt better almost immediately.

Not much advice really, only that this is difficult, and there's only way way out - sit him down, tell him how you are feeling and that you want to go it alone. It's going to be hard, but you can do it. In the long run, it's best for everyone.

I've struggled since then - it's been 6 months now, but I still miss the security and peace of being with him. But it is getting easier. It's so much better to do this before getting married or having kids.

You will feel terrible hurting him, but you can't stay with someone out of pity or guilt, has to be one of the silliest reasons. Be brave. You've got this.

This relationship has run its course and it's over bar the formalising of a new order.

It surely can't have escaped his attention that you're living separate lives and I suggest you get the ball rolling by asking him whether he wishes to continue being your housemate or strike out on his own when lockdown is over.