You were right . He finally admitted to it

[ncforthis2021]

You were all right. He blamed me
For him leaving. He met her a month before and shared a bed with me until he announced his departure in late August.
I have beaten myself up, always niggling that it was indeed my fault . That I was a nag and had a bad attitude towards him.
He couldn't attend his children's appointments , he couldn't join family
Holidays , he was a distant nasty grump and yet I believed it was me .
You told me that there was about a 90% chance that there was ow. You were right . He led me
To believe that he mar her afterwards ..And worse again, she knew he was married . I don't even know how to feel? Relieved I know the truth , triumphant that it really wasn't me , angry at him, used / manipulated . Let down by another woman and mother . I don't know. Does anyone have any words that may help me. I'm
Pretty desperate . Thanks for reading ..

I'm so sorry. These situations are where you always hope you're wrong. But sadly it's a tale as old as time.

There isnt much that can be said except that you are going to feel better. Let yourself hurt, it's part of healing. The pain is awful but if you give it space to exist, it will pass by quicker.

I'm really sorry this happened to you. No one deserves this.

Thanks for replying . There is a relief in knowing the truth in many ways. A relief in knowing it was not my fault that he left. A relief in that I was not complicit in being a part of him blowing the children lives apart . A relief that there may be someone who will
Actually cherish and love me the way I should be loved some day .

Your words really show that you have the underlying strength and grace to get through this shit time.

You're right. You do now have a chance to be cherished. Objectively this is very exciting. But of course in practice it's more like the light at the end of the tunnel, it will take time for the good things to come to fruition.

Things will get better, right now I'd wager it's as if the core of the infection has been removed from the wound, which can now finally begin to heal properly.

Do you have family or friends who you could tell about this discovery?

Yes thanks. I am lucky to be surrounded by amazing family and friends. I think I will be ok in time. It's just another shock isn't it. One thing after another . I know he has freed me to enjoy the next stage of my life . I wish I could fast forward another twelve months. It feels like it will never end

It's hard to reply without parroting my story back to you. Just want you to know I hear you. Keep your head high and don't enter into bitterness. It's very sad and painful but it honestly gets better. Just one day at a time.

No matter how much it hurts now you're well rid of him. Anyone who could do this to his family is not worth your love. Trust me it will get better and you will be happy again. You just have to get through this awful time and come out the other side.

She’s got herself a cheater and it won’t be long he’ll be doing the same to her behind her back.

You’re better off without the liar.

Welcome to the other side. It wasn't you, he's just a nasty cunt. Honestly, you're free and the rest of your life starts today. 💐

MashedSpud is right. He's no prize. You can sit back now and watch him do it to her. He will and the less fuss you make, the sooner he will do it.

They make the perfect couple. One is a cheater and the other is a family wrecker. Zero chance it will end happily ever after for them.

But for you it's different. You can hold your head high, knowing you're neither of these things. Any future relationship you have will not have this poison in it.

Be strong and don't let him back in your life.

I'm so sorry op, it's always so disappointing when you realise the person you've trusted, had kids with and invested your time and emotions in is actually a cheating arsehole. You are so right though in saying he's freed you to be loved as you should be loved. You can hold your head high knowing that you've behaved honourably throughout and out your children first unlike your lying cheat of a (soon to be ex) husband.

and for you .

Thanks. I think it's time
To read the script . Does anyone have a link ?

Is this it? www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1527705-Midlife-crisis-this-is-the-script

Here you go. Some tears will be shed, but load of laughs. Goes nicely with a good riesling. 💐

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1634754-Men-affairs-what-is-the-script

OP , hold on to the relief, the knowledge that you were right, that it wasn't just you, or whatever he threw at you. No doubt he told you it was all your fault and gave you 100 reasons why (they usually do).

I know it is hard, so hard, having been there, but I am exactly 8 years on and I wouldn't touch him now with somebody else's bargepole.

Thank you all. You have all helped
Me Through today more than you ever know

Ha, I am on that script thread under a different name

🍸💐 @ncforthis2021

You lost a man with a poor character.

She has gained a weak lying man.
Take care of yourself

I'll open a bottle for
This one . Thanks for all the lovely supportive words