Bored in DP company

[apple777]

We’ve been together two years and I’m 6 months pregnant and I don’t know if it because of the lockdown or my hormones but I’m so bored in his company! We have nothing in common at all, never laugh or joke together not interested in the same type of music have the same conversations daily about work and the baby and that’s it. I don’t know how I had never noticed this before but starting to think long term things will not work out with pressures of a baby without a true connection. I’ve been staying downstairs whilst he is upstairs most of the day feel like flat mates.

It’s not normal to feel bored in your partners company is it?

That's exactly how me and my hubby are, been like that for years!!!

Every partnership gets boring if it's not fed.

Relationships are sold to us like they should be self-generating sources of entertainment and security and eroticism and support and adventure and and and and.... and it's a hell of a lot to expect of one person.

What new things could you do together in the next few days? What kind of conversations do you want to be having, and how can you start them?

@apple777, it could be situational and therefore you will get through this however 2 years is just about the time when you get to know someone well.

What did you like about him before?

I couldn’t go out with someone who doesn’t like the same genre of music as me .

Can you find a new joint hobby together ?

I would also be bored to just talk about work and kids - that is very boring !

I like so many things that are different to my husband... Music, films, hobbies etc. I like that as we can have time alone and able to do our own things. I think that is also normal to like different things. When you are with someone you don't have to turn into one person who likes doing the same things.
However, I do feel like we can talk about lots of different things.. I think the longer you are with someone the more you have to talk about as you have experienced more together. I don't think you should feel bad that you only have work and a baby to talk about. Having a baby is so exciting and of course that is what you want to talk about.
Saying that, this is a challenging time in most relationships. Talk to him about how you feel. Maybe make an effort to sit down together at lunch and dinner without tv or music and just talk. Even play a board game or do a general knowledge quiz together.
Congratulations on the pregnancy btw!!

I'm sorry but that does sound awful. I don't think it's normal in a good relationship to never laugh together or have anything in common, to feel like there is no connection.

Do you think he feels the same way? Could you try talking to him about it?

To be honest we’ve never really had much in common to begin with and he was the ‘nice guy’ that I met after being in a toxic relationship. I’m a very chatty person and unless I’m talking nothing much is said and when I try to start conversations about things I’m interested in I get an ‘oh really’ ‘oh I didn’t know that’ then end of conversation. It frustrates the hell out of me sometimes I feel like I would be better off talking to the wall! I usually end up calling friends just to have an actual conversation.

Very happy that I’m pregnant and really excited but I know I can’t live like this forever I would go insane. Even when we do go out and do things it’s me who makes the conversation I remember going to the beach last year and when we arrived we sat in silence for half an hour and I was looking around wishing I was with another group on the beach. I refuse to be one of those couples sat in silence in a restaurant when older! I’m 28 he’s 32!

Snap....and it's always been this way. Met DH when I was 24. Infatuation, young love, lack of life experience and confidence meant that I didn't realise the importance of similar sense of humour, likes/dislikes etc. I just fancied him, got pregnant 8 months later and the rest is history.

It's only now, in my early 40s that I sit and reflect and wish I hadn't done this. I love my husband and I will stay with him but I am so bored all the time, he has no conversational skills, lacks a sense of humour and is oh so serious. I'm the opposite. When we were young and busy raising the kids etc I didn't notice it as much. I do now.

Don't be me. You end up losing who you really are. X

@mamato3lads Sorry you also feel this way in your relationship. I already feel like I’ve lost myself tbh and I have never been attracted to him physically like I have done with previous boyfriends. He is also a shallow person which to me is very unattractive in itself but I think ultimately connection is what makes someone attractive.

He keeps talking about getting married and I really can’t see myself growing old with him :( I know he will be a great dad so I’m happy my baby will have that but I do think down the line we will have to separate and co parent because I can feel myself dying bit by bit in this relationship.

My advice (from someone who has been there and done it) is don’t wait. Get out before baby is born. It’s so much harder when the child is here. You’re exhausted and guilty and worn down...do it now while you only have yourself to move physically. He can be a great dad. You don’t need to stick with somebody who doesn’t make you happy

I think many couples come across this issue. So many people are satisfied looking on the internet and watching shows/movies. Nothing interesting about a person who spends their time on the couch watching shows and eating takeout or freezer food.

After the lockdown, maybe get rid of the television and stop using smartphones/iPads after work hours.

Get into hobbies- either together or separate. Play board games or do puzzles. Enjoy your time cooking, exercising, reading books, gardening, woodworking...

To be honest we’ve never really had much in common to begin with and he was the ‘nice guy’ that I met after being in a toxic relationship. I’m a very chatty person and unless I’m talking nothing much is said and when I try to start conversations about things I’m interested in I get an ‘oh really’ ‘oh I didn’t know that’ then end of conversation. It frustrates the hell out of me sometimes I feel like I would be better off talking to the wall! I usually end up calling friends just to have an actual conversation.

So you thought it was a fantastic idea to continue the relationship, move in and bring a child into it. Sorry, but I have no sympathy for you. So many of these posts recently. Leave him so you can both be happy and don't settle in future.

Been there and it was torture it doesn't get any better either I am now with someone who I have alot in common with we love spending time together even after 4 years enjoy the same music tv interests
Literally only thing I don't like is sports he is a football fanatic but that doesn't bother me at all

No it is not normal.
Doesn’t bode well tbh

It's not normal, no. DH & I have been together forever and we still laugh together every day. You should have fun with your partner.

I stuck out being bored and I guess disconnected for years. Little communication and no laughing; I craved company and laughs and got them outside my marriage. So that worked for a while.
I did fancy him for most of the time, then he started to give me the ick, and I realised I couldn't spend the rest of my days lonely and uncared for, joyless and in silence.
Ironically I feel all those things now in this period of lockdown but hopefully one day I might meet someone who I have a better connection.
Good luck op

Same for me. It's awful to say but he works upstairs 4 days and the other days I'm keeping busy in another room. We were sat in the garden yesterday and he grabbed a notepad. I asked what he was doing. Doodling. Would rather doodle than talk to me

You need to leave now before the baby is born or you will be even more trapped. It sounds like you don't even love him anymore and he doesn't love you.