Will she ever speak to me again?did something stupid

[sunop]

This is about a friend but I was unsure where to put it.
It was my friends birthday on Friday.
Normally we go out to celebrate but obviously we can't this year.
I ordered her some flowers and a card to be delivered on Friday.
The thing is she hasn't left the house in 3 weeks as she is so worried about catching the virus.
She rang me upset thinking I had brought the virus into her house on the bouquet of flowers.
She hasn't spoke to me since except when I said I was sorry and she replied
Fair enough
I honestly didn't even think about the virus being on the box,I just wanted to cheer her up.
Do you think eventually she will realise this?

She’s being massively ungrateful. Don’t pander to it and in the future don’t bother.

No, you've clearly done nothing wrong.

I guess flowers does feel very non-essential - although still very lovely of you - so she's feeling that gap between where you're at and where she's at. You can tell from lots of posts on here how hard some people are finding it and are freaking out about others being less stringent even if they're still within the rules. She's shrunk her life right down to cope and sending flowers will feel like a whole other world to her. It is a shame the flowers had the wrong effect and will be in the bin, but compared to all the losses going on it's no biggie and there's no real fault on either side, just a difference in how you're dealing with things. I'd just learn from it, leave it a couple of days and talk about other things when you get in touch again, only communicating electronically so she'll feel safer. But don't feel bad, times are tough, and hopefully she'll be over her upset now.

I would point that out to her - that you thought a flower delivery would be similar to an ASDA delivery, and could be managed in a similar way. If she was worried - she could have left the flowers outside. She didn’t need to be negative to you - I wouldn’t take it personally.

She’s a tiresome drama llama. Unless she’s having some kind of psychotic episode, in which case I’d be waiting for a heartfelt apology when she is herself again.

You did something nice, OP. If she has intense health anxiety, she could have quarantined the flowers in a room or the garden or a couple of days.

She's a complete TIT.... if she is accepting food orders from Asda then she can accept your flowers... christ talk about unnecessary hysteria...

I would understand if she were living off the land and not taking in mail/food etc... but no she's being ridiculous... simple precautions like wiping down the wrappers would maybe ease her angst but I suspect she's angry in general .. likely watching people walking past her house and fuming and looking for someone to take it out on... that being You OP..

I don't think she's a tit, though she didn't need to call the OP up and spread the upset around. I would never have done that and don't have health anxiety or anything like it, but I have had the thought about sending friends gifts to cheer them up and then immediately thought - ah maybe that's a bad move right now. I'd maybe send something if they really needed it, like if my parents needed, I don't know, a new kettle or something. But I definitely wouldn't be sending flowers as you're creating needless journeys and interaction. If my friend had health anxiety I'd be extra cautious as you're essentially sending her a problem to deal with, which isn't such a nice gift. Again, the OP shouldn't feel bad because they were trying to do a nice thing, but I can understand where the friend is coming from too and don't think it's a reason to write her off or even slag her off. A lot of people are really struggling right now and empathy is required all round.

Her reaction was illogical as she's not shielding.

@sunop, I suspect your friend will clean all her shopping from ASDA when she receives it (I know my mum does, EVERYTHING is cleaned with diluted bleach before being put away).

So she might or might not have kept the flowers....

Fwiw that is an ver reaction TO ME.
I appreciate that some people are very anxious and fearful about this virus. And to them, it doesnt look like an over reaction. Just the one little thing they can do to protect themselves and t feel more in control.
The best you can do is what you did - to apologise and let it go.
Wait a few more days and contact her again, the way you normally do (text?) and check how she is doing. Compassion rather than expecting her to aplogise will go a very long way.

She’s bonkers.

You did something kind and thoughtful Op. She may have been unhappy about it but she should have kept quiet, like a good friend would.
I’m not sure I could be bothered with a friend like her - too draining.

You did a lovely thing OP.

She sounds like really hard work.

Leave her to it.

She clearly has zero manners.

Drama over nothing!

But if she was that worried she could have left them on the doorstep? You weren’t forcing her at gunpoint to carry the flowers into her house... (and for what it’s worth that would have been an overreaction but understandable for someone with health anxiety, but willingly bringing them inside and then complaining to you is unnecessary)