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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Not sure what to do

3 replies

ChocolateFanatics · 12/04/2020 05:35

I just need some advice on this situation.
I've had a difficult relationship with my sister over the last few years, we haven't spoken in years and recently began to talk again - we are no where near having even anything similar to a friendship and anytime we talk is because of an event eg birthday, Christmas.
Anyway, her and her partner who I've met twice added me on Facebook. Her partner messaged me happy birthday and when I responded thanks he began asking for advice and divuldging information about their relationship which wasn't positive eg she comes across rude and his family don't like her. I found this really awkward because I don't know this guy, I've literally only started even being able to message my sister and I was a bit annoyed someone would put me in that position on my birthday. I did respond staying very neutral but I'm really anxious about it. I know my sister has been considering moving back to my parents so im aware their relationship is a bit up and down. I'm not really sure what I should do, if I tell my sister it's likely to open a can of worms and I don't know their relationship to know if this is normal, my parents think it likely he's just drunk a bit too much. I also don't want my sister to find out id replied because she can be very stubborn and it would completely stop us making any progress.
I know I probably shouldn't have replied at all but it felt really awkward and I did try my best to stay neutral, I didn't say anything negative about her. My thought at the minute is just to leave it, i think this probably is their relationship but I also don't want to do anything to make it impossible for our relationship to progress in any way.

OP posts:
FlowerArranger · 12/04/2020 07:17

You say you stayed very neutral, but what did you actually say? Also, it's not clear from yoyr post- did you actually tell your parents?

Anyway, what is done, is done. Just leave it and don't respond to any further communication from her partner.

ChocolateFanatics · 12/04/2020 07:39

I said that I didn't really know her at the minute so I'm probably not the best one to ask but that I know she can also be very kind and loyal.
I did tell our parents.

OP posts:
Sha33le · 12/04/2020 07:55

I wouldn’t message him again, if he continues to message you I would reply saying, I’m sorry but I don’t feel comfortable talking about my sister’s relationship with you

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