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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Midlife crisis affair. Regrets

5 replies

CJY4 · 12/04/2020 04:17

Has anyone known someone that started a midlife affair, moved away for a few years and then regretted it?

OP posts:

sofato5miles · 12/04/2020 05:07

You do

Onceuponatimethen · 12/04/2020 05:11

Yes - my aunt in her 50s left her gf and hugely regretted

izzywizzygood · 12/04/2020 07:35

No, I don't think people who have affairs are the type to have regrets. They just get on with things and move on, that's their nature obviously. They're active people, they take action, hence the affairs. If they do have regrets would never confess. It would make them look so stupid!

It's highly natural, of course, that all spurned lovers will hope that their cheating spouse/partner will have regrets and see what they have lost, but they underestimate the cheater. They moved on because they weren't happy. And none of the partners who cheated on my friends and associates have ever tried to get back with them. As far as I know they are still with the OW.

Probably the only time someone will regret an affair is if they are missing a bit of home comfort.

sofato5miles · 12/04/2020 07:57

I think many regret causing hurt and some, if their life doesn't improve, will regret losing what they had

HugeAckmansWife · 12/04/2020 09:04

I agree that even if they do, many won't admit it. When ex left for ow pretty much 100% of my friends and family 'comforted' me with the idea that it wouldn't last etc and you see it on here a lot. Whether he has private regrets, especially given the impact on the kids etc I don't know but they are still together and in a way I'm pleased.. If he'd fucked up his family for a short lived fling that would be far worse.

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