Last straw?

[SearchingForFun]

H has cut his finger very badly doing DIY. There's alot of blood and it's fairly deep. He won't go to hospital mainly due to the current CV situation.

I got the blood to stop, cleaned him up and dressed the wound.

I am so angry with him. He says 'I didn't mean to cut my finger did I?'. No I am sure he didn't mean to do it but he did drink 3 beers before starting the DIY. Is that the most stupid thing to do and then try to claim it was a complete accident out of your control? And then act completely put out when your wife expresses her frustration?

Tell him not to be so bloody stupid and get himself to A & E; they will have a proper look at his injury and treat it accordingly. He has no idea how deep the cut is and it could possibly become infected.

What the medical profession do not want to happen here is for people who need attention to stay away from A & E because of concerns around coronavirus.

I highly doubt he deliberately sliced into his finger.
As annoying as his behaviour has been it's not uncommon to have a few beers and do some DIY.

I wouldn't make a big deal of it but show no sympathy either

It wasn't deliberate at all but it was very stupid. Is it too much to expect that he would consider his family and be cautious?

He really won't go to hospital. He is very stubborn. He has lots of accidents so it is 1 in a long line of many. I have no sympathy. All I have is utter frustration. And this could be the last straw in our marriage

I wouldn't have any sympathy, call him a prat and ignore him if asked for any.

Sleep on it. Don't threaten your marriage over a cut finger. This lockdown is exasperating every argument couples have.
My OH ate the last crunchie out the fridge and I honestly thought - can I live with this selfish pig for another 40 years. An hour later and I felt guilty for even thinking it.
X

Chances are a cut finger doesn't require A&E, if it really did I'm sure OP and her H would know about it.

He has lots of accidents so it is 1 in a long line of many

@SearchingForFun Are most of the accidents after he's had a drink? Do you think he has a drink problem?

He drinks beer like it's water to quench his thirst. He's not very nice when he drinks but no I can't say all these accidents happen when he drinks. They happen different places, different circumstances, only thing in common is my H.

We've been having problems for a long time. This stupidity today just reminds me again that some problems will never be fixed.

He has asked me to open him another beer and also asked if I will wash him in the shower so he can keep it dry. He thinks it's a joke. I think he is really disrespectful towards my feelings.

It actually doesn't sound like you love him
All you have for him is contempt

@shoxfordian It actually doesn't sound like you love him All you have for him is contempt

I agree. It does sound like that.

Agree with PP doesn't sound like you love him at all? Maybe cut your losses if you dislike him so much so you can both find someone you to love you/him. I've sliced my thumb today cleaning up, DP didn't have a go at me they did say the divorce rate after lock down would sky rocket because couples aren't used to being together so much lol

Contempt is really the end of love op
I think you're right, it's the last straw

@EmotionalFlood

I can see why divorce rates will probably go up after this. Any relationships that were just about surviving might no longer stand a chance. Like mine.

I've cut my finder before too. But not after randomly deciding to do some DIY after drinking beer. DIY which has been on the to do list for months so could have really waited another day.

I think when you are happy and have an equal partner in life then an incident like today wouldn't be anything major. But when you are taken for granted, left to do everything from cleaning to managing finances then it does become major.

*finger

I agree relationships that are in the surviving stage aren't going to cut it passed lockdown in some cases. If there's no love left and it's not worth saving, moving on is maybe best! And how I cut my thumb was stupid, I just didn't tell him I was trying to clean it in the wrong hand, wasn't concentrating and then essentially dropped and pushed it into my thumb... I cried it's the sharpest knife we own too!

@EmotionalFlood

Ouch I hope your finger is ok! Sounds painful.

Is it worth saving is a good question. I thought for a long time it was but after a long time of trying to save it and little change from H I don't know anymore.

Could you talk it through with him? Or is he blind to the issues? Would he be willing to change some things to save the marriage? Failing that, make a pros and cons list, juvenile but often helps seeing it on paper (do not let him see the paper, obviously)

I'm quite clumsy and often bang into things/break thinks. It's ADHD and probable dyspraxia, maybe some of that is an issue for him.

But sounds like there are other problems, too.