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Original poster

When did you say "I love you"?

18 replies

SausageSimon · 11/04/2020 11:12

A conversation with a friend has really got me thinking after she told me her sister and her boyfriend have been together for 4+ years and he still hasn't said he loves her. She's said it to him but he hasn't said it back

I find it absolutely bizarre, and it made me reflect on my own relationships. The norm for me has been a couple of months in to a relationship which may be early for some people! I find it very difficult to find someone I click with so when it feels right I know quite early on

I'd imagine most people would have got to that point within 6 months?

When did you tell your partner you loved them? Did they reciprocate or wait?

OP posts:
Dollywilde · 11/04/2020 11:16

First date was start October, we said I love you in January. Possibly a bit early but we’d spent Xmas apart after going on dates 2/3 times a week and I think that helped crystallise our feelings. Together 8 years now so think it was the right call!

4 years is just strange. No way I’d have stayed around that long without an I love you.

Original poster
SausageSimon · 11/04/2020 11:50

I think that sounds roughly about what would feel right for me @Dollywilde I know with the right person I get the feeling I want to say quite early on but I wait until it settles cause I know it's just excitement and I just wait until it feels like it could burst out of me Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
SausageSimon · 11/04/2020 11:51

@Dollywilde it definitely sounds like you made the right call! Smile

OP posts:
Mum4Fergus · 11/04/2020 12:03

Forget the words for a moment...

What do his actions say?

Whathewhatnow · 11/04/2020 19:59

2 or 3 months usually. 4 YEARS?!?! Byeee. Unless they just cant say the words ... but then again...no, bye!

ladybee28 · 11/04/2020 20:56

I find it just as odd that she hasn't asked him about it (I'm guessing you'd have mentioned that in your OP if she had). Sounds like a funny setup communicationwise between both of them...

Crackerscheesescabbyknees · 11/04/2020 21:55

As soon as I feel it. It really depends on the relationship. 4 years is taking the piss though, really, isn't it?
Surely he's just keeping it up now?

My DP and I both told each other we loved each other before we were a couple. We dated for a while, I popped him in the friend zone. He became someone I loved. I told him I loved him. He said it back (after a few weeks). We started dating again a few months after that and have been together since _

Osirus · 12/04/2020 01:04

I’ve been with DH for 16 years and I never say it. Said it once or twice in the beginning because he expected it, but I never say it, apart from to my daughter. It’s something I struggle with and I don’t know why.

DH said it to me 3 months in. I replied by offering him a biscuit!

I don’t know why he stayed, or why he’s still here.

Osirus · 12/04/2020 01:05

To be clear, I struggle saying it at all, not just to DH. It’s not a reflection of feelings, just perhaps a communication issue.

LellyMcKelly · 12/04/2020 05:49

About 3 months. And every day since.

ukgift2016 · 12/04/2020 05:58

5 months for him and 6 months for me to say it back.

OccasionalNachos · 12/04/2020 06:43

A few months until I said it. A few more months until I really felt it!

Shehz21 · 12/04/2020 06:51

3 weeks in. Very happily married 3 years on with a toddler.Smile

fantasmasgoria1 · 12/04/2020 07:53

On the second date. We have been together for 3 years and 4 months. He proposed after 5 months.

Chiyo666 · 12/04/2020 07:58

About 3 minutes after we met. After about 12 tequilas.

firstimemamma · 12/04/2020 08:05

We said it after 6 months of dating. I know that might seem like ages to some but it was right for us. To be honest things progressed pretty quickly from that point and we moved in together after a year together. Very happy together over 5 years later. Smile

4 years just doesn't seem right to me, yanbu.

SimonJT · 12/04/2020 08:34

Four years is a long time, but does he show how he feels, that’s more important than a certain word.

I accidentally said it fairly early one when I intended to say that I love Zelda, so I really awkwardly took it back.

After that it was about four months in, I had been on holiday and missed him quite a lot, so I told him when he stayed over that night and I finally put out 😂

He’d said it a few weeks before me, he doesn’t say it very often, he’s more of a shower.

Foreverlexicon · 12/04/2020 08:34

It took my partner 8 months to say it. I’ve been feeling it since 3 months but she’s a bit of a commitment phobe so I didn’t want to freak her out, I hinted at it a couple of times and she said she finds it hard to say but felt the same way. Then said it for the first time a few weeks ago.

I’ve said it after 2/3 months in the past which would be more normal for me. Somehow it meant a lot more when she said it after all this time.

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