Anyone there to talk?

[Alaska33]

I've just had a row with DH over an age old issue which in a nutshell is over my close relationship with my Dad. The thing is though that DH started up out of the blue and I kept my calm then went to sort the children out (they didn't witness that part of his ranting) but eventually i lost it and shouted at them ☹️ I hate myself for it they weren't even doing much wrong.

He was then packing a bag and ranting again and the children saw from a distance him break a chair and push a dining table over in rage. I was out of view and they began sobbing thinking he'd killed me. I don't know where that idea came from because there's no history of violence but again, I hate myself for tonight.

He's saying he wants to divorce because he's always second place to my dad but I have a feeling he'll go back on that part tomorrow, although tonight is the worst it's ever been.

Why couldn't I just have ushered the children away from him

I could really do with someone to chat with, to my children I'm so so sorry

Oh my goodness, has he left the house and are you and the children safe?

We're fine he calmed down but remained cross and insisting I make him feel worthless etc. Maybe I do. He's gone to sleep in a different part of the house

Ok, leave him tonight.

Pushing over a dining table is outrageous and in front of the children is awful.

What's the obsession he has with your father?

They thought he d killed you because clearly they ve picked up on arguments between you previously
One of you needs to leave at least for now

Sorry when I said leave him tonight, I did not mean leave the house and meant leave him alone in the separate part of the house.

That wasn't clear.

I would wake him now and tell him to fuck off to live somewhere else. He has upset your children, broken a chair and pushed a table in his mad rage

OP it could be you he is pushing around next !!!

Agree with him on the divorce. Kick him out/get to safety. This is a sign of escalating behaviour. Did I say leave him? This will mess up your kids development, get out before the damage is irreversible

I am very close to my Dad and DH has been funny about it from the beginning. He's not close to his own family so can't comprehend it and he gets horrible about it. I'm always trying to include him and consider him knowing it's an issue but nothing I do registers.

The difficult part is that it's so mood dependant and unpredictable.

What the children experienced is eating me up. I was holding my 6 month old while DH shouted at me repeatedly 😔

He kicked their toy box across the room and they saw that too. Oh God

Next time something will fly and hit a child or you.
You will end up in a and e or your child will. So get him to leave tomorrow.

He's a very jealous unstable person. He makes you feel like you have to choose. I bet you don't make him feel like second best that's just his insecurities talking!

Oh love, what a nightmare. I agree with PP, he needs to leave. Before your children came to the conclusion he had killed you, they know things are bad and he's volatile. You say yourself it's mood dependant. This is nowhere for you all to live.