Has anyone ever truly forgiven a cheat?

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I just want to know if it’s actually possible to truly forgive an affair?

Agree, you can’t forgive until you accept what’s happened, and you won’t move on if you can’t forgive. I spent months thinking I was weak for staying, then I gave my head a wobble, realised that actually it took someone very strong to forgive. Who knows what the future will bring, I don’t have a crystal ball, but I’m where I want to be. Lots of love to you x

I'm not knocking you Silverbirch but I think a lot of us could have written your posts at 8 months post DDay. I hope all goes well for you but please do what a pp did and make sure you'd be ok if he ever did it again - emotionally and financially. If he doesn't do it again then there's no harm but if he does, you wouldn't be starting from scratch iyswim.

@spyApp absolute agree... need to be sensible x

Don’t think you can ever accept and get over it personally, at times certain things you asked or found out comes up again.
Could be where they went together or a question that comes up in your head.
Personally I wished I’d never asked so many questions, but at the time I wanted to know everything and he was willing to tell me.
My most worse thing after is bumping into her, at shops or passing her car!! Brings it all back.

Yes, sadly I agree. A lot of us were as SilberBirch is now, 8 months on. Sorry xx

I'm now about 6 or 7 years on and still married to him but tbh haven't trusted him fully since. Something shifts permanently, and although after loads of counselling he is hugely regretful at what he did and he swears he wouldn't do it again, that doubt never really goes, and my self esteem never really recovered. Always wondering (especially during sex) if he's thinking about other women. Stayed for the sake of the children but it's never been quite the same since.

I don't know. Perhaps you can, if you can learn to trust him again. He is responsible for regaining your trust and being open and honest about how and why this happened. I hope that you are able to work through this, must be so very hard

I did. It was about 4 years ago and with a colleague. It took lots of talking, lots of new boundaries and eventually it did make us stronger.

Don't get me wrong, I as heartbroken at the time but him seeing me so hurt made him realise how wrong it was and how he'd never want to hurt me like that again.

He does now try every day to show me he appreciates me and it did make us value each other more.

I appreciate this is the exception rather than the norm, but we did come out the other end and we're married now and happier than ever.

Yep. It was 18 years ago.

I feel week too.. and just pathetic for even trying to give him a second chance. He says he know he wouldn’t do it again as he couldn’t see me so hurt again. He’s now really open with his phone, saying/doing all the right things. I suppose time will tell. I’m grateful that I’ve heard from others on here who have been in this situation and made it out the other side, whether that’s together or apart. Anyone else going through this pain, I hope things get better you you.

I think it’s possible to forgive, but not to forget.

I will never forget. I know that for definite and I’ve told him so too. And I know it may sound odd considering I’ve stayed with him this time but I know that I would never even consider trying to forgive again.

I know quite a few people that have.
Good people can do bad things.
Marriage can be hard.
Often it is a wake up call.
Some of these relationships had got really bad - something had to give.
The ones that stayed together and worked through things seen happier.
The ones who left / were chucked out and went with AP didn't last / were miserable.

If there is love there it can over come a lot -

It takes a strong person to walk away and a even stronger one to stay. Good luck