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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Putting abusive relationship in a box and moving on?

2 replies

Fightingback16 · 10/04/2020 19:50

I’ve got to a point where I’ve had enough of thinking about it and reading about it, thinking about who’s fault was it. Looking at my battle scars, feeling sorry for myself.
Who did what when, trying to sift through 12 years of crap. It’s impossible when you’ve distanced yourself from the event. Nothing actually makes any sense, it’s just a shit storm. I don’t like my husband, I don’t want to go back, he’s a s**t dangerous father, he totally sucks all the joy out of life, so what more do I need to know?

I’m thinking of just putting the whole dam relationship in a mental “f*k that s*t box” and move on. I’ve learnt a very large lesson and discovered more about myself. Keeping going over it is stopping me from moving on. Is it healthy to just let it go without getting 100% closure? Can you even really get closure from these kind of relationships?

I’m thinking of it like a long term illness, I’ve got the scars and now the all clear. So do you go over and over with why me or just enjoy the fact that you have the all clear now? I’m only 37 and hopefully I have a lot of years ahead of me for my situation to change for the positive, not that I don’t have positives now.

OP posts:
Isleepinahedgefund · 10/04/2020 19:55

How long is it since you've been away from the situation?

It takes time to heal. And I don't think there is such a thing as 100% closure so you shouldn't be waiting for it expecting that.

Fightingback16 · 10/04/2020 19:58

I’ve been gone just over a year, but have gone no contact mid Dec, so no child contact then also. It was only then I realised what kind of relationship I’d been in. I’m just so bored of thinking it all but now sure if it’s
Ok to just stop.

OP posts:
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