Am I being ghosted?

[Whaddyathinkofthis]

I know it's going to depend on what is 'normal' communication and that's different for everyone but if you were in contact every/nearly every day, after what duration of no contact would you assume that you were being ghosted? Or at least, they were losing interest?

Especially if they were online off and on during the day/evening?

I'd actually say a day of no contact would annoy me! But I'd expect something early the next day. If nothing, then I just assume lack of interest.

He did eventually message me last night. He had been working and was in the zone. He had been online but to liaise with someone about the work he was doing - he was having a bit of trouble with some aspect of it.

He's phoning me this evening.

Still not sure how I feel about it. If I'm honest, the minimal contact means I can feel myself losing interest. I don't want to and I know that this will be over at some point but I'm thinking that maybe it just isn't going to work in the long term. It doesn't feel as though he is particularly interested either.

He probably feels the same. Some relationships just don't work without seeing each other regularly and in person, they just fizzle out and that's completely normal. You two won't be alone in this over this period.

Yeah, it just feels like a bit of a slow death at the moment.

I spoke to him the other day about how the lockdown would affect us and he didnt seem to think it would - that we'll just muddle along like everyone else and see each other again when it's over. But without any real 'connection' along the way, I don't see how it's possible.

I don’t really understand this. It is an odd time. And you sound too passive.

If you really like him just keep messaging him & think of fun online stuff you can do together. Put some effort in.

If you are indifferent, then don’t. But don’t blame him.

I've suggested doing online things but he isn't interested. He's quite happy to chat but if I suggest anything else he goes quiet or responds with 👍🏻 and then nothing comes of it.

He's not big on interacting with people online - he prefers face to face and doesn't really feel the need.

I'm finding it hard to engage him. But he says he's interested and wants us to continue. So mixed messages, I guess.

Ah ok. Then yes, sounds like hard work

@Duckduckgosling when he stopped to talk to you in the street, did you you not just stride right on past? I would have! What a git.

It does sound like hrs work OP. You seem to be putting effort in with little return....

@noyoucannotcomein, I probably should have but I didn't, I did stop and chat, thought I'd just act like it hadn't bothered me (of course it did at the time)

One good bit of advice I read here was mirror your partners behaviour a bit. If he isn't making an effort, take a step back and see what happens.

Ironically after my saying I would get annoyed if no message after a day, that seems to be exactly what's happening to me today! Gutted!!!

Ironically after my saying I would get annoyed if no message after a day, that seems to be exactly what's happening to me today! Gutted!!!

Well, I kind of have been mirroring him. And he always gets in touch. He's always the one to phone if I just leave it.

I've been busy today and it's clear to see just how quickly time passes when you're actively engaged in something. It's not a case of not being interested, just otherwise occupied..

Hard to tell which it is though. And I can't ask him again!

@Duckduckgosling not a criticism. You probably did the right thing.

I've done the walk by, but then ruined it by replying to the offended text that followed