Advice needed

[Louisana]

So me and my DH have been married 2 years and been together 3.

He bought a new phone recently and the previous one was damaged. He told me to go through his old phone an just transfer all number and pictures etc as he didn't back it up.

Now going through his phone I seen messages between him an another woman. These messages were before we were married and was when we errre early dating

It really upset me that he would be speaking to someone else while we together as I had never done that. He apologised and said he doesn't even remember this conversation as it was years ago and reassured me that he's never cheated while we've been married and hasn't ever spoke to another woman in that way.

In my mind I feel I'm going insane and now I'm doubting eveything and feel paranoid. I really don't know what to do! I don't think he would cheat but I just feel so angry with him.

I'm

I think you are being unfair. He didnt do anything wrong, it was early days in the relation and nothing happened since you were together.

Most of us will have history and it isn't as if he was trying to hide anything is it? It's you he loves, you he is with and you he married - it's also you he asked to transfer his messages, thereby showing he had nothing to hide. He's a three dimensional human being with a past who probably should have deleted the messages but didn't because they meant nothing and he had forgot about them.

Thank you for responding.

I guess you guys are right. Maybe I'm just over reacting. When I confronted him about it he was very apologetic and said it was in the past and would never do anything that can jeapordise our family as we have DD who is 8months.

It just keeps playing on my mind and I'm finding it hard to get over things. I keep giving him a hard time about it which I know is wrong but how do I just get over it an go back to normal

You get over it by acting normal until it becomes second nature and in parallel you think about the good things you have going for you both. Conversely, why do you feel the need to sabotage your relationship? Maybe spend less time on Mumsnet which can engender a "leave the bastard" auto response.

Hahhaa that's very true as I was expecting leave the bastard response!! So quite surprised already lol.

We've spoke it out and I feel a lot better as Iv told him how I feel. He has apologised and reassured me that he wouldn't do anything that could potentially risk losing me and DD.

Thanks guys

LTB? Why? He wasn't done a single thing wrong and you are being utterly ridiculous. Keep giving him a hard time over this and you will damage your marriage.

He wouldn't have asked you to go through his phone if he had anything to hide. I get that it must feel crap that while you had started dating he was chatting to someone else.

Pressed send before I'd finished!!
Try to get past how you're feeling it doesn't sound to me like you have anything to worry about.

Is be more annoyed that he expects you to sort out his phone for him!