How do you cope not seeing your children and them gaining a step mum

[Gre8scott]

Just that if you are not with the children's father how do you cope not seeing your children.
Its seriously one of the reasons I dont think about leaving I would just miss them so so much.

What age are your kids?

For years my son hated his step mum. They’re now getting on and he’s been at his dads for the past 3/4 weeks which is the longest he’s ever been there.
Honestly it’s such a blessing, I’m so happy that he’s happy. That’s all that matters, after seeing him come home sad and quiet for years after visits

I have been separated from DDs father for nearly 2 years, she is 4.

Ex met a nice lady in the summer, I heard lots about her and DD and he both seemed happy... I didn't meet her. That relationship ended and DD was more upset than her father.

He has been with his new girlfriend since November and I absolutely hate her, I wanted to give her a fair chance but there have been lots of nasty incidents- she's not very nice and purposefully plays DH and DD off against each other....

I think what I'm saying is it depends who the new partner is, if they are a decent person to child has just gained someone else to (hopefully) love them! Which is a good thing.

Worrying about this shouldn't be a reason to make you stay if you are not happy.

I thought that but actually my boys stepmom is lovely. Things are very civil and I know she takes very good care of them. I would have hated their dad taking them on holiday on his own.....I don’t worry now I know she’s there!

She definitely hasn’t taken my place, my boys and I are still very close and they like her. I make sure they remember her on Mother’s Day out of respect.

Hi OP. To begin with, it's bloody hard. I cried a lot at first and used to get myself into a right state. Slightly different scenario to you in that my ex left me for the OW so I was distraught and dealing with that too. After a while, I reached a point of acceptance and it became easier. That's not to say I dont have the odd wobble now and again but it's not eating me up inside anymore. I am 3.5 years down the line.

i love the fact that they have another woman who genuinely loves their dad and them.

i have my kids 4 days a week and i love every second, they get a more energised and happier me and a wonderful relationship with their dad

It gets easier. It really does. I’m happy that my kids have two loving homes and have built wonderful relationships with their Would be ‘step mum’ and my partner.
There have been sad times and tears but it’s all been for the best

You get used to it. You even come to quite enjoy the free time.

My dc's stepmum (well, I don't really think of her as that, or much about her at all) is decent enough.