Do you think I've blown it?

[neetreetpeyite]

Guy I'm seeing messes me around.
Today I text him two messages.
He read them but didn't bother replying and he's on Facebook.
He's sitting online on WhatsApp but can't muster a reply.
So I text him another text saying
"Oh sorry are you busy? Considering you can't seem to string a reply together"
I probably shouldn't have done that and just waited for a reply shouldn't I ?

We've been seeing each other 8 months and we met on tinder.
Now he's just sent me a random pic of a can of lager (that's it )
He does my head in even in person he can be ignorant.
Maybe I'm just being agitated today

You sound very needy. Youve the internet in your hands. Surely there is something you could be learning or doing now?

No op, get rid of him. I went out with someone like that. I was young and didn't have much self confidence. I would barely text him because I knew he wouldn't text back and it made me feel sick, checking my phone every 2 mins, and he never text me unless it was the weekend and he was going drinking. Strange thing was we were both daft for each other, he just a dick, but he would tell everyone I was the love of his life blah blah blah. We had been together when I was 17 for a while, then again when I was early 20's. I put up with it for about a year and then couldn't put up with it anymore and told him to get to fuck.

Not worth wasting your time.

even in person he can be ignorant

Drinking alone before lunch would end it for me.
But being ignorant in person?

Ffs op. Come on!

You’re not seeming to listen or reply to anyone who has asked you how he messes you around.

I wonder if he’s talking to other women? If he’s on whats app but not replying that seems odd. I suppose it depends on how often you message him. I couldn’t be bother with constant messages. Do you call each other?
I’ve been seeing a guy for a year we have a good morning have a nice day text then chat on the phone some evenings when we don’t see each other.

If someone doesn't act the way you want them to, these are your choices:

1. Try to get them to change, using enouragement or annoyance etc

If they don't change:

1. Keep trying and being constantly miserable and frustrated
2. Accept that is how they are and stop getting miserable/frustrated
3. Stop interacting with them

Usually I start with 1, that fails, I move to 2 for waaaay too long, then eventually get to 4.

It's hard, sorry this is happening but it sounds like he isnt worth your time.

What is it you want from him exactly? Instant replies, stimulating conversation?

You're bored, you need to solve that outwith the relationship.

Sorry for not replying individually.
He will just cancel plans last minute or arrive late.
Get too drunk and make me look stupid in front of my friends when he looks like a idiot.
Gets drunk and does stupid things (falls over,vomits over my new carpet)
I do think I love him but I don't love that

Sometimes I just want to feel like he cares about me.

And I'm important in his life.

You sound really exhausting.

You said he was messaging you all day yesterday, and then you had a conversation this morning.

You asked him if he was in his garden and he's maybe going to reply later when he's actually in his garden

It's barely lunchtime yet.

Sorry but if my partner tried to pull this shit on me I'd tell him to bolt. If he wants a fast response to an important question he can phone me. And I'm very much into him, I just don't feel the need to be in constant contact. Again - exhausting.

you sound needy and he sounds a dick

Oh my god

This lockdown is messing with people's heads. Sometimes I want to message people and other times I find it overwhelming and want to put my phone away. Sometimes I get a text from my mum, my best friend or my boyfriend and and just ignore it for a few hours. It's exhausting being at some people's beck and call to text at all times, especially for an introvert like me.

Get some perspective and NEVER send whiny passive aggressive messages about not getting a message. It's so pathetic.

@neetreetpeyite sorry, I have to ask, how old are you?

I am currently in 9 active whatsapp group chats, all of them pinging all day, I'm going through methodically, but if a message pings up from what I'd class as a more important group, then I check those messages, but don't necessarily respond, so yes, I am online, and I've read the message, but that doesn't mean I'm ignoring you.

Sounds like a shit relationship and if it is like that at the start I wonder why on Earth you bother hang around. Your self worth must be in the floor. Just bloody dump him!

On one side it’s just too needy that he has to consist consistently respond and text you irrelevant of what he’s doing or thinking, I couldn’t be doing with that,

On the other side, it’s even worse he’s an ignorant piss head.

Neither of you are really covering yourselves in glory here.

Sorry I missed the update about his drinking and behaviour

Dump him for goodness sake

For god's sake dump him, he sounds horrible!! Why on earth do you keep trying with him, it sounds exhausting and stressful. Just dump and move on.

Look, op. Im way over invested here as ive done nothing today. He is not a good partner. If you choose to stay with him, he will make you miserable. Youll have a baby, have years of misery with his nights out, having you and his child as a low priority, youll get sick of it and have to put up with shitty behaviour coparenting.

This isnt love.

End it.

Hi op, agree with everyone else, are you actually getting anything out of this relationship?

you haven't blown it he's just not that into you

This. Move on OP, this sounds exhausting and not normal behaviour. Life is too short to put up with that crap.

WhatsApp, Facebook ect christ what a drama.

Things were so much easier in the olden days.
Like 10 years ago 😂

On the one hand if he’s been messing you about and getting drunk and being an idiot then that’s reason enough to dump him. On the other hand it is highly annoying when people ‘read’ stalk you and expect an instant reply. Can’t stand all day texting - let’s face it, little of substance if usually said via a text so you end up essentially electronically small talking the whole time.

Get too drunk and make me look stupid in front of my friends when he looks like a idiot.
Gets drunk and does stupid things (falls over,vomits over my new carpet)

For real ? You’re still with him ? What’s wrong with you . You say you’re important to him . Not from where I’m standing . The first one especially would have me ending it straight away . Who needs that shit .
Work on your self esteem , and lighten up a bit . Things happen , people get distracted , just chill out a bit and try not to get on peoples’ case if they dont respond as quickly as you want .