Newly separated

[freshstartbabe]

Good morning mumsnet!

I hope you are all well during this strange time. A few weeks ago I took a massive leap and told my partner that I have been unhappy for a long time and wished to separate, something I have been torturing myself with mentally for a few years. After many emotional conversations and a lot of emotional ups and downs in my head I like to think I am adjusting. We are nearly at a stage where he has secured a new property and hope in the next week or so he will be in the position to move, yes can you imagine we are currently still living together in lockdown ha ha ha. We have one DC.

Anyway, I have stayed away from mumsnet for a few years, as over the past few years I have been ‘unsure’ what to do and find that sometimes mumsnetters are very quick to jump in with definitive advice (and judgement - sorry don’t shoot me ) when sometimes you are just looking for someone to chat with.

Anyhow, I am just wondering if there are mumsnetters out there going through or have gone the same wanting to chat? I am also wondering how you are coping, managing your emotions, your stresses, your worries ect.

@PickledLilly Haha I agree. I only discuss with my one closest friend, I guess people don't really have the right to comment unless they have experienced the relationship through their own eyes.

@Thisisshit4567 Wow! What a coincidence I also work part time and do full time uni, I am actually in my final year and will have online exams in order to graduate and progress to Masters. Stress. Stress. Stress.

BUT when ex-DP has DC in his care we will have more time to study! Also you will have peace of mind and therefore be able to be a calmer mum, that's how I see it anyway.

@Thisisshit4567 Also just keep going it will all work out over time you will get where you want to be

@freshstartbabe yes I need to think of the positives. Hope your exams go well, I'm only in my 2nd year of a 4 year course and have so much to do and no motivation at the moment. I need to give my head a shake!

@Thisisshit4567 You are basically half way there, that is a long way to have come already! Take it only bit at a time and it will come together Do you mind me asking what your course is in?

Ladies sorry I know I'm posting an awful lot on here, since making this post I have been able to view a post I made in 2016 that I had forgotten about. I have since had a username change and am somewhat hoping that this doesn't reveal my previous posts but I will copy and paste a little bit of my 2016 post about my ex-DP

"DP is and has pretty always been grumpy, he doesn't like to do anything that involved effort, he just likes to play his video games all day... and doesn't like to go places with me and DS (which isn't a big deal at the moment as DS is only four months old) this would all be fine and I wouldn't begrudge him this if he only tidied up after himself, he'll eat food and leave plates just by him on the floor. He is a good dad in the sense of that he plays with DS and will mind him for an hour or two but I don't want DS to take after him in moaning about everything, literally nearly everything.... oh the effing lightbulb oh its effing sunday oh we've got to go and see your parents what the eff are you doing? (about me picking up his rubbish that he's made around him) and SOMETIMES if I talk to him whilst he's playing his video games he gets grumpy because I've "made him lose" but this isn't always... oh and he likes to have them on LOUD (his computer is in the front room)

Does anyone else have a grumpy DP and how do they cope with it? I just tend to not give him any attention when he's being grumpy

And no I don't want to leave DP, he does have his good qualities and I love him.. I just need to have a bit of a moan on MN sometimes rather than to him"

TOOK ME ALMOST FOUR YEARS TO GET TO WHERE I AM TODAY HAHA

@freshstartbabe

RE: your Mum: whatever she thinks that is just what she thinks. End of. It's not good, it's not bad. It's just what she says. Call it a circumstance. What you think about what she says is important, however. And what you choose to make it mean.

I'll reach out to you.

@freshstartbabe I'm studying maths. What about you?

How is everybody getting on?