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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Sister in isolation with abusive boyfriend

31 replies

emmielia · 08/04/2020 06:59

My sister is very young ( under 20 ) and has been staying at her boyfriends house most nights for the past year.

Whilst she was there my mum received a letter stating that my sister needs to self isolate for 12 weeks as she is considered high risk. She told her this on a phone call and sister agreed that she would isolate at my parents house and stay in the spare room, whilst my mum would provide her food etc from a distance.

Although she had been at boyfriends house since lockdown. She agreed that as she would be isolating for at least 12 weeks she would be better of at home with people who could care for her. Boyfriend is still working long hours.

The next day she was expected home . She called Mum crying saying she has changed her mind. Boyfriend doesn't want her gone for 12 weeks. *
What the fuck!*
He said she started lockdown at his house, so she has to stay there for the duration! He will break up with her if she returns to parents. And tell the police.

She could potentially get seriously ill as boyfriend is in contact with a lot of other people at work. He is only at home a few hours at a time.

He is always making her cry, insulting her and she's had some 'accidents' that really concern me.

What can I do/ say to help? Is she right to stay in one place where she started lockdown? Even with this abusive twit?

OP posts:
SandyY2K · 09/04/2020 14:14

Good job. I hope this isolation period enables her to see him for what he truly is.

A good family is priceless.

BackseatCookers · 09/04/2020 17:08

Well done OP I'm so pleased she's safe ThanksThanksThanks

Windyatthebeach · 09/04/2020 17:11

It's done now op. She is home safe...
Make sure she blocks him in all ways..

FabbyChix · 10/04/2020 02:33

I’d contact the boyfriend and tell him that if he abuses your sister ever again you will go to the police. Sorry but I’d rather lose my sister than not do anything and allow him to carry on. I’d she isn’t strong enough to get away then you do what you have to so that he knows that you know and will report him. Or I’d go to their house and get her.

FuzzyTights · 10/04/2020 03:22

Glad you got her OP!

FlowerArranger · 10/04/2020 08:25

Don't contact the boyfriend!
If he makes any threats, report him to the Police.

Don't worry about C19. The risk for you is minimal, and your sister's MH takes priority.

I agree her reading Lundy Bancroft's book and doing the Freedom Programme would be really useful. A free PDF of the book is available online.

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