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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Theres this guy...

1 reply

Dee96 · 08/04/2020 00:52

Back in my college days I met this guy. We tumbled into a situation ship with each other. At the time it was my first experience with a guy and I really didnt know what i wanted or how to go about things. In consequence I messed him and myself around, but we continued being in each others lifes for 5 years. Despite it all he was the one person I've truly felt at home with, the one person I could picture myself having kids with even when I dont want them. When I finally pushed him away for good I was devastated, it took me a whole painful year to get over. Now years have gone by, and we barely talk, only here and there. Im now in a relationship,which isnt good, but for some reason I always find myself thinking about him still, missing him. It's always been this case with all the people I've dated it's fine and then a couple months in or once the relationship starts to deteriorate I find myself longing for him again. Does it mean anything, has anyone experienced anything similar? I cant and refuse to believe I'm still in love with him, I barely know him anymore. The guy I knew has long gone, he went to uni and changed into a completely different person. I dont want to be holding onto something that isnt there and sometimes I dont think I'm being irrational, but then I cant help feel like I should be with him right now and everything I've wanted for myself isnt what I've given myself

OP posts:
category12 · 08/04/2020 08:25

It's probably what he represents to you, rather than the man himself. If you're in an unhappy relationship, mooning over the past is a distraction and escape.

May be worth counselling and some time out from relationships to get yourself together.

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