Lockdown move in or stay apart

[Ruralbliss]

I started dating a new guy in February. We really like each other. Spent as much time together pre-lockdown as we could. Speak for an hour at a time most days.

He's currently on a short-medium term placement as a live-in carer until the person he is looking after is well enough to be supported by just her husband.

When this placement finishes he could do as the government suggest and come to stay here with me and my teenage kids (17-12) or take another placement or stay with his elderly parents until the next placement. He sold his own place.

I'm seriously tempted to have him here during these difficult times. He is funny, kind, helpful around the house and garden (both massive and hard to manage on my own). He has a daughter a year older than my eldest but doesn't see her due to lockdown (she was on gap year abroad but got home just in time)

The risk is that it doesn't work out and we have to say adieu to one another or that my kids resent someone they've only met once in the house.

What would you do? If he doesn't come we'll not see each other for as long as the COVID19 crisis plays out. That could be a very long time.

Thanks

You can't move him or a lodger either.

I hope your last post means you've given up this idea.!

My kids grew up in communal settings and we've only had our own house for the past few years so I guess this put me in a different way of thinking but yes I'll knock the idea on the head and stay in touch with him via phone.

Interestingly my three best girlfriends gave the idea a thumbs up - all high flying, clever professional types but locked down with husbands they're no longer into.

Thanks all.

WTAF! I have no words for this level of crazy.

Sounds nuts.
Your poor kids.

Some women will do anything for a new pair of trousers.

I suspect your girlfriends gave him the thumbs up because they like the romance of it and wish they weren't home with husbands they've gone off.

Glad you've decided against it. Given that we have been in lock down since mid march you can only have known him a month really before that. How many times did you meet him? Nice idea but nope.

Wtf!!! No.... jeez..... 2months if knowing him and you’re talking about him moving in.... no way. Stupid in every sense.

IF it's completely separate & he would abide by the rules, I'd allow him to use the granny flat while he looks for another care position

It would keep his parents, you/kids, other people safer, but only if you could both properly stuck to the rules

She's not going to stick to the rules, she'd be shagging him.

Sometimes "our best girlfriends" tell us what we want to hear.

Interestingly my three best girlfriends gave the idea a thumbs up - all high flying, clever professional types.

I’d question their ‘cleverness’ after such terrible advice. You have kids for crying out loud.

.... but locked down with husbands they're no longer into.

Maybe they just want you to be as miserable as they are. I can't imagine the hell of being trapped with someone you have discovered you no longer care about. Every thing they do would irritate you.

I mean, I love my DH dearly he's generally lovely, but frankly he's starting to get on my nerves a wee bit.

I'm in a 6 month long distance relationship and my kids are older, one of whom is at home. Even though he has met my kids and gets on with them, there is no way I'd have him living here during lockdown! My chap is very domesticated too, but it is too soon for shacking up!

You've barely known this man so no, it isn't a great idea at all. Don't do it!