Complicated

[leo27]

I was with my ex fiancé for 6 years we have a 2 year old baby we split up last year for no real reason other than I wasn't happy anymore , we tried and tried to fix things but it just wasn't working. I should have been happy we had everything that people want multiple holidays every year , weekly date nights , I never wanted for anything but for some reason I just wasn't happy.

We've been split up for just over a year now and have causally seen other people but very few months I miss him and think I want to try again and get his hopes up but when it Comes down to it I change my mind.

A few months ago I found out the girl that's 18 years younger than him he's been casually Sleeping with is pregnant and wants to keep it wether he's involved or not.
He told her he didn't want to have a baby with someone he's not in a serious relationship with but she said she'll do it alone.

I've been in a new relationship for about 6 months now and he's the perfect boyfriend but I just can't stop thinking about my ex and the family we could have been

The only way I could ever see us working is if he has nothing to do with her or her baby. Her and I have never got on ( known
Her for years) she's a nasty trouble maker He's told me he's willing to do that for us to be together again.
I know how bad that makes me sound but our baby was planned , we were engaged , we wanted to be a family.

I haven't told anyone else how I'm feeling as my friends and family don't like my ex they thinks he's manipulative and controlling.

Really don't know what to do , if I could go back in time I'd never have left

I'm sorry but think this sounds a bit like you don't want him but you don't want anyone else to have him either. Those problems that were there before? They will still be there
Keep a relationship for your child but I honestly think you should move on.
You sound a bit selfish in this post.

You can't forbid him to have anything to do with the baby. Imagine the impact of that on a child. Sounds like you don't want to be with him anyway.

You're the proverbial dog in the manger.

You really need to stop and think about the person you are and your values - you want a man to reject and abandon his child.

You sound like you don't know what you want. Other than control. You don't want him but you keep stringing him along. You want him now but only on your conditions.

I think you should be alone for a while. Figure out what you want.

Stop hurting people.

You denigrate your ex and his pregnant gf yet you've behaved absolutely appallingly!

Frankly I'd strongly suggest you leave both men alone, spend some time single and use that time to get therapy...and grow up!

You are messing with people's lives including now an unborn child who's done NOTHING to hurt you or anyone else and all because you can't bear not to be the one getting the most attention in your circle.

You don't want your ex, if you did you wouldn't have left him and you wouldn't bail every time it gets close to you getting back together with him.

Stop being petty and selfish and leave him to get on with his life however he decides to lead it (though I hope he won't be a deadbeat to the new baby)

Doesn't sound complicated to me. You weren't happy, you split up, you're dating other people and now he's having a baby with someone else. Leave well enough alone.

How unbelievably selfish of you.

How dare you?

You didn't want him anymore...you had your reasons and that's fair enough, of course it is. He was very hurt and tried to move on you've kept him dangling, building his hopes up, dashing them and making immature, selfish, stupid demands on him. The baby you are so easily trying to wipe out is HIS CHILD. Always will he, despite your petulant demands.

Leave the poor man alone. You didn't want him, you didn't want that life. Well, now you don't have it, so be happy. It was your choice.

Now you're jealous and

He doesn't want anything to do with this girl he wants to be back with me and be a family again.
They were never together in the first place.

You've already had this thread deleted once.

I'll say what I said on that one, get back together please because you're both awful and that way it will save anyone else having to put up with either of you.

Is this a reverse? Because if not you sound like one of the nastiest, most selfish people I’ve ever heard of.

You are messing with 2 peoples feelings. Your ex and your boyfriends. You don’t sound like you know what you want tbh and I would suggest a long period of you being alone to work it out.

How could you ever respect a man who would abandon his child, let alone ask him to do so? Your child doesn't merit a father more because you planned it. What if he married in the future and his wife asked him to do the same to your child because they are illegitimate? Your thinking and behaviour are warped.

He has a responsibility to the child he's having with her - the adult relationships are neither here nor there.

Making abandoning his child a condition of being with him makes you an awful person, and him too.

A friend of mine married 3 times (she left the 3rd one too) but never really found the happiness she was looking for. She once said she wished she'd stayed with her first husband as: "there was really nothing wrong with our marriage, I was just bored". She left her 3rd husband to chase a man in America who she met online. That didn't work out either even though he was her "soul mate" and then she passed away from cancer, aged 48.

It was impossible for my friend to find the happiness she craved because she wasn't happy in herself. Expecting someone else to create happiness for you, to fill that void, never works. Why not stop dating and work on yourself for a while?

You broke up with him as you were unhappy, end of. You cannot keep him on the back burner because it suits you, it is completely unfair for everyone involved, including your new partner.
He has a responsibility to provide for new baby, and lets be honest, he should have been using a condom!!
I think it is time for both of you to move on, the relationship didn’t work.

You seem to enjoy the fact that you know he wants to be with you. Once you have him, you don't want him.
What you're expecting of him is massive and completely ridiculous, he can't abandon a baby because you find it hard to deal with.
I think you need to leave well alone and just communicate with him regarding your child, your back and forth'ing isn't healthy and is unfair on you all.

You would actually let a innocent child grow up without a father for your own selfish needs. You clearly sound like you dont want him but you dont want anyone else to have him xxx

Them xxx were not supposed to ho on the message haha oops my bad

I haven't told anyone else how I'm feeling as my friends and family don't like my ex they thinks he's manipulative and controlling.

They think he's manipulative and controlling? Hilarious.

He's clearly a horrible person. But you're the one pulling the strings here. That's your child's sibling you both want to wipe from existence, you do realise?

Do everyone a favour and grow up.

And on both your threads, the very first thing you list as being good about your relationship is having multiple holidays a year.

You're clearly a very shallow, selfish and greedy individual.