How do I reply to STBXH

[Nottodaymike]

This is going to sound really petty - sorry.

We’ve agreed to divorce when this is all over. Luckily our house is big enough to avoid each other and we’ve not spoken for two weeks ( apart from the angry texts he sent me at the beginning) we’ve literally not seen each other’s face the entire time.

I’m ready for this. It’s been coming a long time but I think he is really angry at me for not begging him to sort it out. Normally I’m first to try and sort things if he goes in a sulk as I can’t stand the atmosphere but this time I’m not bothered. I know he is literally fuming with me

My only aim through this is to try and remain amicable and respectful and not drag the kids through it.

This morning the kids bounded up stairs and told me that ‘daddy was taking them for a walk and I had to drop them off at his work later’

Then as he was going out the door he said loud enough so I’d hear - ‘get ready then mummy will bring you to work and we will go out for a walk’

It’s really irritated me because

A) he shouldn't speak through the kids to me
B) he shouldn’t be organising what I’m doing.

I’m calm. I’m not shouting. I’m just done so there in no need for this PA behaviour.

He will probably text me later asking me to bring the kids down and I don’t know how to respond with out it coming out arsey. I want him to know that this behaviour isn’t on and actually there is no reason why he can’t come back and pick the kids up.

I’m not being a push over but I don’t want to inflame the situation. He’s changed over the years and if he doesn’t get his own way he becomes arrogant and sulky. I know I’ve got a battle on my hands with the divorce as he’s already told me what I’ll be getting in the settlement 🙄🙄

Just pretend you're divorced and he's somewhere else with the kids. He's in charge of them and can sort them out.
He's done it so you'll
Go out and tell them it's too cold. Grey rock. He's an adult and can
Sort them out.

Grey rock op. Go and do something you want to do, read a book or have a bath. Take yourself out of the situation, as someone else said, just pretend you're divorced and not living together so you don't see it.

Unless I’ve misunderstood what he was proposing, his request breaches government instructions. He can travel to work if he absolutely has to but your DS can’t go to his work place and, as regards taking exercise, it’s supposed to be done from home - no-one is supposed to drive anywhere in order to take exercise. Perhaps too late for today but perhaps this can serve as an answer for the future since these aren’t your rules, they’re the government’s rules.

Step right back so that you can see and assume that everything he does or says is a goading manipulation. He is trying to draw you in to a fight. If you go out for a walk and he knows you aren’t watching - he will have them back in doors quicker...!

He is trying to yank your chain.

Don’t react. Drop the rope.

V interesting that you saw his DB behave the same way. What’s his DF like?

You don't drive to take a walk during lockdown.
That would have been my first thought.