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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

If you had a disabled child....

7 replies

Scared2Postasrealname · 06/04/2020 00:59

If you had a disabled child, and your partner called him, your disabled little son, what would you do? I already have my response and action to take etc...

That disabled child, and the partner involved has seen through three life or death experiences with said child....yet the partner has his own neurological illness, in which, is poorly consultant led (its not an excuse on his side, just trying to place both sides of the issue) without being one sided. If that makes sense) is all a bit of a concern/reason.

Yes I know he adores my child and would never say it to him in person, yet he said it to me, intoxicated, to hurt me, and yet his illness can make him say cruel and nasty things, depending how his brain is functioning...he made that choice regardless of intoxication.

I've made arrangements to do what I need to do tomorrow but if anyone who has a disabled partner, and doesn't have a diaabaled biological father/child can you give me advice.

In context it was said in an argument to hurt me.... Its done more than hurt me and I think he realises that.....yet still he has his own issues l regardless of all my family, that he apparently loved and adored... Like I did his(were blended) he still said it. Do I believe his apology because of his neurological illness, and spur of the moment or walk away. He's never said anything like this before.
(my decision is already made.... I'm just asking for advice because what other people have stated and opinions)

OP posts:
saraclara · 06/04/2020 01:06

I'm struggling to understand the context here. I think one would need to know exactly what he said and where the phrase came into it and why. I doubt you're going to get a clear answer based on what you've said.

Scared2Postasrealname · 06/04/2020 01:38

I usually share joint custody.

My child fits into the 12 week shielded and isolation period.

Ex's and current partner relationship is extremely stranged.

Partner has been hands on step father for our relationship basis.

Due to current situation daily contact with ex (sometimes only 5 mins) , constant parenting due to SEN and running myself into the ground due to mental health... I know it's not a regular scenario, however on now additional info.... Neuro issues or not.. Would you address someone u state u love, and have 'brought up' for so many years.... Rather than name them would you address them like earlier.... Just to hurt the person who gave birth to them?

OP posts:
Winnietheshit · 06/04/2020 01:41

What’s the neurological issue?

Winnietheshit · 06/04/2020 01:42

I’m struggling to think of a neurological condition that can “make” someone say deliberately hurtful things.

BackseatCookers · 06/04/2020 06:01

I'm struggling to understand the context here. I think one would need to know exactly what he said and where the phrase came into it and why. I doubt you're going to get a clear answer based on what you've said.

Seconded. Would you be able to give some more detail about the actual conversation OP? Thanks

Fidgety31 · 06/04/2020 08:52

The OP post is rather confusing to undertake what exactly has happened and who has what disability ?

goldpartyhat · 07/04/2020 10:49

So he made a comment designed to hurt you when he had been drinking? The disabled son isn't the issue, it's why he would want to say something designed to hurt and what your current relationship is. That's not clear, but that is your issue I think.

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