DHs Emotional Torment

[Wigwammbam]

I'm stuck in isolation with a man who refuses to talk about our differences and disagreements and instead, takes himself off to the spare room for days on end, making no connection with me other than to speak to me completely normally around the children and ignore me the rest of the time.
I'm so lonely and shocked that he's willing to cause so much extra anxiety. He takes everything to heart, there is no challenging him, no constructive criticism as he's overly sensitive about everything. But he doesn't talk anything though, he shouts at me and then sulks for days on end!
I just want to get away from him. I feel locked inside his petulant torment. I've been snappy all day and the kids are asking what's wrong with me, whilst their Dad is swarming around as if all is normal.
I feel like I hate him and just need to get away from him.

Hi op I'm feeling exactly the same right now. My partner suffers with no polar and he's not been in work today and tomorrow and he's already kicked off about 4 times . Ignored me . Sulked like a child . I'm emotionally drained too . Iv been looking foward to coming to bed all day just to sleep and get away from him .

that sounds truly awful. Has he always been like that?

That's emotional abuse.

He can control it but he's training you to be quiet, not question him, be compliant, not make a fuss.

This is domestic abuse and you need to leave as soon as you can (obviously with things the way they are it makes it more difficult than usual).

I'm so sorry you're going through this agony. He's a vile man. Have a read of Lundy's book

www.docdroid.net/py03/why-does-he-do-that-pdf

@inacheeseandpicklesandwhich I also look forward to going to bed each evening! I'm upstairs by 8pm.
Sorry your DH is making life difficult for you; it's hard if he's so up and down.
Mine just wants to be left alone to do as he pleases, but punishes me with sulking if I challenge him in any way.
There's no escaping it either is there which is the hardest part. I've now split our time with the children, taking it in turns to be with them so we don't have to spend time together. It has helped. Could you do the same?

Really sorry I have took so long
To reply . It's a pity that we don't have notifications when someone replies . Honestly now what you have written could of been wrote by me ! His name doesn't begin with an l does it 😂me and my friend from works partner both have the same name and they are both pains in the ass lol. Example today he woke up really early even tho it was my last lay in as I'm back in work starting at 4 am. He will toss and turn until I wake up then says for me to get up . So we go down he is actually in one hell of a good mood said plans for the day . He made me a breakfast then said we would go for a long walk . I know he hates walking well he hates doing anything I like or anything that means he has to leave the house when he's off . Any he's all for this walk and I'm actually feeling a bit happy . As soon as we walk out of the door instant mood change ! We walked 8 miles with him saying two words to me . So I said to him why ain't he talking he gets all aggressive and says he didn't want to go for a walk only don't it cause he knew I wanted too ! He then storms ahead and leaves me I walk a good hour on my own back home to find him sitting on a bench waiting for me by our house because I had the door key . He didn't dorks to me for a good few hours once we got home . Then all of a sudden really good mood again asked me what film to watch so I suggested me he doesn't like it! So I said well you chose but he wouldn't . Put the one I suggested on went in full sulk mood talking to me like shit and went on his lap top! Fucking men . Anyways how has your day been lol x

Sulking is a form of emotional abuse as springydaff says. Its a form of punishment for some perceived insult, designed to put you on edge, to destroy the balance of the other person. He is certainly not sensitive - where is the kindness and compassion? No, its being used a a form of control and is a really common tactic in abusers.

All he cares about his himself and getting his own needs met, he does not give a shit about you. He shows contempt. He expects you to please him, patch things up, just so he can reject you further and feel even more crap in yourself.

OP and cheesepickle you must start making plans to leave or you will have a lifetime of misery. (That walk sounded horrendous) Don't underplay how awful this is. They will never change.

In the meantime learn to detach and don't pander to their manipulation. Google grey rock and read up on emotional abuse. Also remember leaving because of abuse is allowed at present. Good luck to you both.