Arguing with husband.. Feel drained

[Khtchkn]

I feel so drained.. We have a 10 month old baby. Husband and I both give our son so much love and attention. Whenever me and my husband argue it’s mostly to do with his messiness and lack of help. I do all the cooking, all the cleaning, most of the night shift.. but on the other hand he also helps a lot with our baby. Whenever I ask him to do a diaper change he does, and whenever I ask him to go in at night when baby wakes up he does.. I’m just so tired of constantly cleaning up After him and him not helping one bit around the house, or acknowledging and being grateful towards me. I knew he was messy from the start but having a baby makes it so stressful. In the morning our baby wakes anytime around 6-7am, I take him into the l living room for him to play but my husband continues to sleep through even when I ask to play with our son. He’ll just stick him infront of the tv which I hate. He doesn’t work late hours.. his job starts at 10am and finishes at 5/6pm... he’s working from home now due to coronavirus so we’re stuck 24/7 to each other and We argue so much now, All because of his lack of help and messiness. and I absolutely hate and feel so guilty for arguing infront of our 10 month old as we do raise our voices and get angry. I don’t know I just wanted to have a rant ... what are your responsibilities with ur partners?

Why does he need to be told to change a dirty or wet nappy? Can’t he tell that it needs doing and doesn’t he want his child to be comfortable? It’s not “helping with the baby” it’s basic parenting.

What happens when you argue? You’re right, shouting in front of your baby is awful and creating a horrible unhealthy environment for him.

As you say, he’s always been messy so you must know it wasn’t going to get baby when you had a baby. Did he say he’d make more effort or did you hope he’d change?

If he refuses to do a fair share of housework, cooking and parenting and you're not able to communicate with each other without shouty arguments then you need to break up. What is he bringing to your life that’s positive? It sounds stressful and shit.

All you need to know is that your 'partner' isn't being a father or a partner.

Apart from, I assume, contributing financially to the household he's not doing anything else.

What's the point of him?

@annelovesgilbert - he doesn’t keep track tbh. Doesn’t know when his nap times are, his breakfast, lunch , dinner times etc..
when we argue he always pushes the wrong buttons to wind me up and he knows it, but says he didn’t expect me to get angry and shout... I think that’s bullshit . I feel so sorry for our son watching.. I never want to do it again but it’s in the heat of the moment.
He’s always been messy, I’ve never argued as much as now, maybe because we are in lockdown and literally 24/7 in a 800sq flat... what really gets to me is when I cook and bring the food out to the table, after he’s done he’ll just sprawl out on the sofa, not offering to help..he doesn’t refuse to help but always says “I’ll do it later.. I’m busy- not right now “ which leads us to an arguements where I can no longer take it... i just hope this lockdown doesn’t last too long as it’s really not doing us any favours !