Hi,
Sorry this is going to be a long one. Just looking to get all my thoughts down as my mind is going a million miles an hour.
So me, partner and 1 year old at home.
He's packing his things now and moving out tomorrow.
Yesterday I had just had enough of him speaking to me like s**t again, told him I wasn't happy with the relationship and to go because I wasn't putting up with it anymore.
So he's took me at my word, and as usual doesn't try to talk about it or fix anything (basically have a grown up conversation) but just says I'm going, you told me to, and that'a all I'll get out of him.
I haven't told friends or family what is going on - firstly because everyone's on lockdown and don't want anyway to worry, I can't see them anyway and secondly because I'm embarrassed. Embarrassed that we can't work through this, embarrassed that his same problems are still going on.
This is where I'm feeling bad - he has no family, and no other support. He had a very bad childhood, and that's what has stopped me from going through with properly ending it before, as I think a lot of the issues stem from this. But this time I've told myself that he isn't going to change (the moods, attitude, being horrible to me) and so he needs to face the consequences of his actions. But I still feel bad that I'll be leaving him on his own.
He isn't always horrible - but when he is it's like he changes into a different person. I suppose that's why I've stayed so long (been together 6 years), we've had many good times but also many bad. Arguments that have escalated because he can't control his temper etc.
Yesterday's very little argument was because apparently "he's sick of me saying I'm tired". DS doesn't sleep through yet and so yes I'm always knakered! He used to do some nights (once I went back work, we shared the nights) but he can't do it without getting annoyed. I heard him from the spare room shouting "FOR FUCKS SAKE" because DS wouldn't sleep. I went into the bedroom, took over, and don't trust him now to do the nights. This isn't normal is it? He makes me feel bad, but I think he's in the wrong.
I've said time and time again I won't have DS growing up to think it's normal to shout and get in a mood and not talk all day. Or when you do talk to be saying horrible things. Or never being able to say sorry when your wrong. I'll be teaching my son the opposite of those things as he's growing up.
Any argument ends by me talking him down and making things ok and I've had enough - I've got no energy for it anymore.
I suppose I just wanted to get my thoughts down and hopefully hear that I'm doing the right thing to keep me strong. If I don't go back on my word he'll be gone 🤞 this time tomorrow, but it's not going to be pleasant until then.
So can I ask, do you think I'm doing the right thing in letting this relationship end?