DP tried to quit smoking but never can quite manage it

[QuakingQuiche]

DP tried to quit smoking but never can quite manage it

He’s been trying to quit for over a decade. We’ve been together only a year and throughout this time, he has tried hard to do it by weaning off the nicotine supplements but every time he goes round to a friend of his, he crumbles and cannot resist an actual cigarette.

He knows it could lead to our break up and from day 1 he said he’d try and quit - not just for me but because he really wants to. Relationship is great in all other ways so not sure what to do. I cannot stand smoking. I just feel like he’s never going to be able to quit.

sounds like he’s giving up for you, that won’t work of course and you can’t make him.

if it could lead to your breakup that tells you everything

He doesn't want to quit. It's an addiction and a person cannot quit an addiction until they really want to.
Once they want to then they do everything they can to stop.

His desire to smoke is greater than his desire to be with you.

I know that's shitty and hurtful but it's the undeniable fact because he's choosing to smoke knowing it's a dealbreaker for you.

So is it a dealbreaker for you? You need to decide that now and act accordingly. If you knew he'd never give up would you stay with him? You say no but it sounds like you would.

If that's the case then you need to let it go and concentrate on the rest of the relationship. I wouldn't stay but it sounds like you are going to and that's fine - you need to make a decision and stick to it.