Obviously there are more important things going on at the moment, but I just want to get things off my chest, as I don't really have anyone else to talk to.
My ex and I broke up about 2 years ago now after 15 years together, and 2 DC.
For almost all of these 2 years I've been such a mug helping him out as there were still feelings there, even though he was emotionally abusive by some of the names he used to call me and very lazy, never helped around the house.
Anyway he was working up until just over a month ago as he was let go, this was when he told me he's seeing someone, they started seeing each other a couple of weeks before he told me. The only reason he told me, because he was moving in with her and her 4 DC an hour away (by car) from where me and our DC live, so I was a little taken aback but just said ok.
He moved just over 3 weeks now and called me not long after this to ask if his girlfriend gives me petrol money will I bring our boys to him (he hasn't got a car) I said no as it was better for them to stay in one house until things settle down and I'm not going to accept money off a woman who has 4 children to feed and now him with no job and no maintenance off him. When I asked him does he have any idea when he'll be able to pay maintenance again, as I'm skint he said we all are. I said who's we and he said the UK. He got angry with me and I said well you're the one who's moved away
He never helped the boys get me a mother's day card (which he usually does). He phoned my eldest (11) just before he came back from working away and told him to go in another room. When my son came back I asked was everything ok, and he said yes we were just talking about mother's day. Turns out this call wasn't about that, it was when he was telling our son he's was moving in with his gf, but told him to lie to me. I messaged him on mother's day saying thanks for helping the boys get me a card, and his reply was 'you're welcome'.
He rang me last week to ask how the boys were, I was mostly giving him short answers, not really engaging, but he said it's lovely where I am, I hope you and the boys move somewhere nice one day (I'm not in the nicest of areas) it just felt so patronising if I'm honest.
He even rang me yesterday and asked if I would go into the doctors where we live and pick up his sick note and send him a picture of it so he can claim money, I told him where to go.
It just feels so crap, that he's moved to a nicer house then mine, in a nicer area and he's got someone there to talk to. I love my boys so much, but I've never felt so lonely and defeated.
I'm overthinking alot at the moment but one of those thoughts is, he's stuck in with a woman he's known for just over 2 months and her DC and she's will see his true colours soon, as he hasn't changed at all. I know I shouldn't be thinking these things, but it's so hard.
Sorry that was long, I just needed to get this out, as I feel I'm going to explode.